Dating and the Single Mom

2010-10-12T09:39:00.000-07:00

Who gets married without so much as TELLING their kid, let alone having them at the wedding? The Mechanic, that's who.
Dead beat dads are such a bummer.

Until next time, much love!
~T

If You Have a Moment, Or A Spare Dollar.....

2010-08-06T10:08:00.000-07:00

http://loveforlivi.blogspot.com/

This is the daughter of a dear family friend. Love, prayers, positive thoughts, and/or donations are all greatly appreciated.

Until next time, much love!
~T

Hmmmmmm

2010-08-04T10:16:00.000-07:00

So my very first boyfriend, my high school sweetheart, contacted me on facebook a few weeks ago. He sent a simple "it's been forever, what is your life like now" email. We exchanged a few messages on facebook, and have now moved on to personal emails. I've given him a full life update, as well as the current pictures of my family, kids, etc. that he requested. He responded with an update of his own and current pictures of his family, kids, etc.
We've now moved on from the updates, and onto "us". He's currently stationed in Afghanistan, with limited access to his old photos etc. but I sent him copies of the pictures I still have, and he plans on scanning in copies of what he has when he gets home. We both got a pretty good chuckle over our old pictures...man were we YOUNG!
Well, about a week ago, he sent me a rather personal email. He told me all about the downward spiral of depression he went into after we broke up. Told me the things he always had, and always will, miss about me. Asked me what it was that led to our break-up, and what did I do after we split. I responded with a very personal email of my own, and after sending it realized...this could be completely inappropriate.
For me, this has been all about finally getting the closure we were too young to give each other 13 years ago. It was catching up with my old best friend, and re-living memories from another lifetime. For him I think it's been simply a nice distraction from the war he is in the middle of. I didn't think twice about answering his questions, and discussing our past together. But I'm not married...he is. I have to wonder how I would feel if I were married and my husband was having conversations like that with his ex fiance.
We've never crossed any true lines, and we've never steered the conversation into "us" in the present day or anything like that. But still... He lives in Georgia, is stationed in Afghanistan for the next 5 months or so, and I will never see him again...so it seems pretty harmless. We don't flirt, it's not like that. What does concern me, however, is the emotional attachment we still seem to have. We were each others first love. We were together for 2 1/2 years at such a very young age. We lived together, we were engaged, we had a LIFE together. That kind of connection doesn't just go away.
He's contacted me 2 other times throughout the years...once through myspace about 3 years ago, and once through facebook about a year ago. It was always just a 2 or 3 paragraph "hello", and my response was always the same...and it stopped at that. This time is different. Maybe BECAUSE he is at war, and desperately needs something else to focus on, even if just for 5 minutes.
We've known each other since we were itty bitty, and I hope that we can find a way to wade through all of this and find our way back to the friendship we shared before we ever even dated. I care about him very much, and I always will. I would love to be able to keep in touch with him, and hopefully now that we've aired out all of our dirty laundry we'll be able to do that without crossing the line into anything more than old friends who wish each other well.

Until next time, much love!
~T

How In the World Do Army Wives DO It?!

2010-07-13T13:46:00.001-07:00

Lately most of my very limited spare time has been devoted to the soldier...ooooh, the soldier...
Met me a nice soldier, yep I sure did. He's a rather delicious looking one too. He served in Iraq with my friend's brother's girlfriend's cousin. Confusing enough? He's also still in the military. He's career. He's stationed in Kansas City, MO now, but he's shipping out to Afghanistan soon.
The whole situation is beyond impossible. Even if K1 didn't have a disability that made big changes (i.e. moving every few years) a form of torture for him, I also have baby daddies to think about. How would I feel if the roles were reversed, and my child was simply snatched up and moved away?
While the fantasy of it all is rather enjoyable, the reality pretty much sucks.
So...for now...I suppose I have a pen pal. :)

Until next time, much love!
~T

It's Been a Minute, Hasn't It?

2010-05-19T12:14:00.000-07:00

Once again, I have gone two months between posts...I'm the worst blogger EVER!
Life has been absolutely crazy lately! Not only have I been dealing with testing, etc. for K1 (we finally got an official diagnosis, yay!), but my mom was diagnosed with kidney cancer and had to have surgery to remove one of her kidneys and an ovary. She was in the hospital for nearly a month due to complications, etc. I also had my wisdom teeth taken out in March which led to dry socket and then an EXTREME allergic reaction to some random Orajel tooth desensitizer that made the entire right side of my mouth blister...baaaaaaaaaad times. AND I was slammed with school work, courtesy of the semester from hell. Needless to say, I was a bit busy and pre-occupied in March and April. The Artist, of course, could not handle the fact that he wasn't receiving enough attention from me and started in with the passive-aggressive games once more.
He started by changing his relationship status back to single and deleting the profile picture of the two of us (thank goodness haha). When that wasn't enough to get my attention he decided to play hardball by re-adding his hooch of a "friend" (who will stop at nothing to get him into bed, even when he's in a relationship with someone else), and making public plans to "get together" when he gets home. When that wasn't enough he started "accidentally" sending me text messages that were meant for her. Still, I tried to ignore it all. Then, to add insult to injury, he friends "The Hoe Bag". Remember the girl TGTBT cheated on me with? The same one my very first boyfriend cheated on me with? Yeah...he friended her. He knows the story behind The Hoe Bag, and decided to friend her...simply to get to me. Lame much?!
Heaven knows I do NOT need that kind of crap. My life is chaotic enough as it is, without head games and bullsh*t. I didn't feel the need to be dramatic about any of it though. I simply deleted him from my facebook (who wants those kind of wall posts on their home page anyway, right?), and stopped responding to his texts. Being The Artist, he kept texting...asking "wtf did I do?" etc. I still did not respond. Unless he is completely brain-dead he knows exactly what he did, and I'm simply too far past the point of being done with it all.
I hadn't heard from him in a couple of weeks, and he hadn't even crossed my mind, when out of the blue I get a message on facebook that reads......

May 11 at 11:13pm Report
I dont want to argue but it would kill me to find out if you were sleeping with ***** ***** when you and i were together...I just can't believe you would possibly be like this...hope its not true and if it is then I guess its the reason why you no longer talk to me and thats cool...take care

WOW...really? REALLY?!?! Where in the WORLD did that come from?!?! Of course it's completely untrue, but WTF?! Did The Hoe Bag tell him that? And if so, WHY?! Of course he either deleted his account or blocked me before I could even respond. I considered, for about a millisecond, emailing him or texting him to let him know he was out of his FRICKEN mind, but I realized...it's simply not worth it. What do I care if he thinks I was screwing around behind his back? I know I wasn't, so really...what does it matter? Not to mention, I would just be playing into his hands by responding. That's exactly what he wants. That was the WHOLE POINT of that ridiculous message...to get a rise out of me, to get me to respond to him. No thanks Artist, I'll pass on your game.

Until next time, much love!
~T

Am I An Ass?

2010-03-09T16:11:00.000-08:00

So I've been communicating with The Artist still, though he is starting to creep me out a bit. Not only did he change his relationship status, but he has now also changed his profile picture to one of the two of us together on the 4th of July. Ummmmm not really sure what to think about that.
He's constantly telling me he loves me, misses me, blah blah blah. I simply ignore the statements. Last night, however, he asked me to "please be sure to tell the kiddos 'hi' for him". I was going to ignore it, like I do pretty much everything else he says, but then I decided I needed to respond. The conversation went as follows:

The Artist
March 8 at 2:28pm
Hey I just wanted to say
that even though we are so far apart I love u..I think about you all
the time and cannot WAIT to prove these things to you.Have a great
Monday.

T
March 8 at 4:29pm
Awww thank you! It's been pretty good so far, but I do have accounting class tonight ugh lol! How you doing?

The Artist
March 8 at 4:50pm
I am doing ok..Still waiting on contracts to be finalized..talk about
ugh!...I hope you have a great evening and please say hello to the
kiddos for me.
J

T
March 8 at 5:22pm
Yeah, ummm no offense, but I won't be doing that ha ha! It was a mistake to introduce you to them so early.

The Artist
March 8 at 5:26pm
wow....ok...So we had that wonderfull phone conversation and you told
me you miss me and still care about me...ever since then you have just been going
backwards..now you wont say anything, and so I ask you. why did you
tell me those things on the phone at all?..

T
March 8 at 5:29pm
Because I meant them! God forbid I should want to take things a little
slower this time around after everything that happened before! The kids
are too young to understand everything that happened and will
happen...all it was to them was an abandonment and I won't put them
through that again. They come first...always.

The Artist
March 8 at 6:12pm
ok.I understand.

UUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! He is getting SO annoying! I HATE HATE HATE neediness! Should I have just let it go though? Was I an ass to respond the way that I did?

Until next time, much love!
~T

2010-02-26T20:17:00.000-08:00

K1: "Mom, did you hear that?! They said 'Apollo'! That skater guy is a God!!"

Me; "Yes baby, he suuuure is" *swoon*

Am I Crazy? Quite Possibly...

2010-02-23T10:42:00.000-08:00

I've been speaking to The Artist again. He will be home in about two months and would like to "hang out".
We've spoken via email, IM, text, and phone...re-hashing everything that went down between us. He explained a lot of his behavior and apologized profusely for not treating me the way I deserve to be treated. But still...how am I to trust that this time will be any different? I've heard it all before.
He moves WAY too quickly for my liking as well. We've had a total of ONE phone conversation. Granted it was a 5 hour conversation, but it was only ONE conversation. We've texted, emailed, IM'd, etc. quite a bit as well, but I certainly wouldn't say we're in anyway "back together". Hell...I haven't even decided if I want to "hang out" when he gets home! He, however, has already changed his relationship status on fbook to "in a relationship". In a relationship? Really?! With who? Who, whom? Whatever. I just don't get it. He says it's simply to show me that whatever I decide he is "all in", but it kinda weirds me out.
Until next time, much love!
~T

What a GREAT Day!

2010-02-12T13:15:00.001-08:00

My Dippidee order came today, and they threw in a special surprise treat JUST FOR ME!!!

How jealous are you?! Yummm!!

Also, a friend of mine recently started doing eyelash extensions and needed some guinea pigs to practice on. I, of course, volunteered myself. I've been wanting to try them for awhile, but could not justify spending $200 to have them done so this was perfect! Had them done last night, and I LOVE them! No more mascara for this girl hooray! I'm super lazy when it comes to hair and makeup so ANYTHING that can shave a few minutes off the morning routine is great.

Pardon the dark circles and bags under my eyes...I'm a student for Heaven's sake. ;)
Getting super excited to take K1 to see Percy Jackson tonight! In fact...I think I'm more excited than he is!
AND...my super awesome mom, and my super spectacular daughter brought me lunch today! Could this day be any better?! Could I be any luckier?! No...no I could not. :D
Until next time, much love!
~T

Enough Whining

2010-02-11T08:45:00.000-08:00

So sorry to have gotten all Negative Nancy on you guys lately. Just needed to vent anonymously for a bit, and now I can move on to happier things yay!
Is it weird that even though this will be my 5th Valentines Day being single I still absolutely loooooove it? I think it's because I have kiddos, and really...EVERYTHING is funner with munchkins!
Picked up these sweet little treasures

from red4short, bought a couple super cute and cuddly Vday bears and candy packs from WalMart, and ordered some yummy Vday treat baskets from Dippidee for the kids. I'm not gonna lie, I'll probably eat half of their treats myself, but it's the thought that counts right? ;)
There was a party for the kids on campus on Monday, and my mom was cool enough to bring the kids over to meet me there after class. They got to decorate some cookies, and they made me the sweetest valentines.
Saturday K1 will be with his grandparents and K2 will be with her dad so A and I are going to Texas Roadhouse together since her husband couldn't make it home.
Sunday will be spent doing taxes for my brother, my other brother and his wife, my parents, and LDB. I should really start charging for my services ha ha!
Monday Monday Monday is a BLESSED holiday! I <3 you Washington and Lincoln for giving me a day free from school AND work! I'll probably take the kids to see The Tooth Fairy since K2 has been wanting to see it.
Random quote from K2:
"I love you lots mommy, even though you sing bad"
It's true...I can't carry a tune to save my life!
Random quote from K1:
"Mom, playing Wii without you is like living in a world with no Sun"
Ha ha ha ha! He sure knows how to work his mama, doesn't he?

Until next time, much love!
~T

Time for a Rant Part II

2010-02-08T10:56:00.000-08:00

After re-reading my last post I realized that I needed to finish the story. I realized that I had made it sound as if The Mechanic's decision to move out of state for a better job was cause for me to flip my sh*t, when in reality that is not really the issue at all...it was simply the beginning, and the end I suppose.
It's the little things that have been adding up lately that have really gotten to me. On Christmas Eve, for example, K1 went with his dad to his great-grandma's house for the family Christmas party. Every single child there was given 2 gifts...every child except K1 that is. K1 received 1 gift...pajama pants. Because he's such a lovely boy, he waited until they were in the car on their way home to my house before he said anything. When he asked his dad why everyone got 2 presents except for him, his dad chastised him for being "greedy" rather than explaining to him that it must have been an oversight and that he should in no way feel "less than" because of it. K1 is far from greedy, but he's also 7 years old. It wasn't about greed, it was about having his feelings hurt because to him the lack of a second present meant that his great-grandma only loved him half as much as she loved her other great-grandkids. Does his father truly not understand the distinction? And does The Mechanic's grandmother truly not understand the lasting psychological damage she is doing to my child by treating him as if he doesn't matter as much as the other children in the family?
K1's grandparents take his brother every single weekend. They have him over for sleepovers, and spoil him rotten while he's there. They also take K1's little brother to have his pictures professionally done about twice a year. They take K1 for a grandparents weekend about once every other month. They have taken him to have his pictures done (with his brother of course) one time. It is made very clear to anyone who cares enough to look in who is the "favorite" grandson. I pray every single night that my son never figures it out.
As for the move....like I stated before, I do not agree with his decision to move simply because I believe that his worthless girlfriend should be doing more to help out financially. I think that she should have stuck to the original plan of going back to work when their son was 6 months old. You see...she worked at a daycare center where she is able to take her son to work with her so she truly has NO valid reason not to go back to work. I think that if she would have gone back to work as she stated she would then, even with the economy the way it is, The Mechanic would have been able to stay in state and deal with this temporary hours/pay-cut because they would have had a second income to cushion the fall. So when it comes to the move...I'm not even angry with The Mechanic, I'm angry with his girlfriend.
But why am I SO upset about it all? It's not simply about the move. It's about the fact that The Mechanic moved without so much as saying goodbye to his son. K1 spent the weekend with him about two weeks before he moved. When The Mechanic picked him up I sat down with him to discuss my feelings about the way he and his family have been treating my son lately. I explained how much it hurt K1 to feel second best all the time, to feel as if he were just an afterthought. The Mechanic's response was simply, "I don't need to explain myself to you" followed by a hasty departure with K1. When he brought him home the next day, the subject never even came up.
For two more weeks I waited to hear from him. I knew he would be leaving within the next couple of weeks, but I wasn't sure exactly when. I figured...what father would leave without at least calling his son, or stopping by on his way out of town since we're literally ON HIS WAY to California? No call ever came. No visit either. He left 1 week ago today, and K1 didn't even know he was gone until I spoke to him about it yesterday. He hasn't heard from his father in over 3 weeks.
It was K1's brother's birthday last week. Due to some facebook posts I found out (after the fact) that they all got together last weekend for a farewell/birthday party. K1 was not invited. Am I out of line for feeling absolutely disgusted about this? To not even call K1 and ask him if he would like to come up to say "goodbye" to his father and "happy birthday" to his brother...I will never, ever, ever understand that. I am horrified by their actions, and confused by their decisions. Is it a case of "out of sight, out of mind"? How CAN it be? How can you POSSIBLY just forget about your own child, your own grandchild, your own nephew?! I simply cannot wrap my head around it. I'm trying so hard to move past it, to not obsess about things I cannot change. But when it comes to your children, that is so much easier said than done!
I hate them. I have so much hate in my heart for them right now. I know that it's not healthy. I've never truly hated anyone in my life! I will get past this, I have to get past this...in time I suppose.
His grandmother facebooked me over the weekend. She wants to come pick K1 up this Saturday to spend the night with them. I so badly wanted to tell her to bugger off, but regardless of my personal feelings she IS his grandmother. So I let him decide. We already had Valentine's plans, and I had promised to take him to the new Percy Jackson movie if he finished the series before the movie came out...which he did! Pretty impressive for a 7 year old, right? Yep, that's my boy! :) Now those plans will be canceled. I will find a way to take him to the movie on Friday night instead, even if that means letting him stay up past his bedtime because HE EARNED IT dammit!
On a positive note...I spoke to LDB about the situation when I dropped K2 off on Friday night, and he is more than happy to step up to the plate. He has tried to be respectful over the past few years, knowing that if the roles were reversed he would hate it if someone else was "playing dad" to his kid. I told him how desperately K1 needs him right now though, and he is happy to start taking him regularly if I will allow it. I'll admit, when we first got divorced LDB was so filled with anger at me that I didn't trust him with K1. And then he started dating someone who had an issue with him spending time with his own child, let alone MY son so spending time with K1 was definitely not an option. Luckily things are different now. LDB has taken K1 on a few occasions over the past year, but has been very careful not to step on the toes of The Mechanic. I told him this weekend, however, that with their recent decisions and behavior The Mechanic and his family have officially given up any respect they may have ever deserved, so hopefully LDB will follow through with his promise to step up as K1's male role model. Fingers crossed!!!
Until next time, much love!
~T

Time for a Rant

2010-02-04T14:08:00.000-08:00

This post is about two weeks in the making. I find myself getting so upset whenever I try to sit down to write it, that I simply can't get past the first few words. I'm hoping, however, that writing things down will prove cathartic for me.
K1 is not LDB's biological son. When I was 19 I got engaged to The Mechanic. He was stable, he was steady, he was a good friend, and he was crazy about me. I was never in love with him, but in UT 19 is about the "right" age to get married so I figured what the Hell. I bought the dress, I picked out invitations, I bought the centerpieces, and then I found out I was pregnant. I was more than 2 months along before I found out. I was on birth control at the time so it just never crossed my mind that all the vomiting and exhaustion could be anything more than a veeeeeeery extended stomach flu.
Things quickly turned sour between the mechanic and I. I started to realize that I was in no way ready to settle down with him...emphasis on the word settle. Friends got involved on both sides which led to enough drama that I eventually had a protective order drawn up against him. I very quickly regretted that action, but it was too late...the damage had already been done. I never heard from him again.
While I was pregnant I became good friends with a co-worker who introduced me to her fiance's best friend, LDB. We were married in April of 2003, when K1 was 11 months old. LDB was the only father K1 ever knew. When LDB and I got divorced, K1 was forced to suffer through wondering why "daddy" took K2 every weekend, but no longer wanted him. At 2 1/2 years old, it was hard on him to say the least.
About 3 years ago I received a message on Myspace from The Mechanic's little sister, wanting to know if she could see pictures of her nephew. One thing led to another, and K1 finally got to meet his father, his "step-mom", his brother, his grandparents, and his aunt. Things were great! He started spending time with his family, and we eventually got to the point where I was comfortable with him spending weekends there. He went camping with them, spent holidays with them. He finally had a DAD!
Unfortunately, the novelty has apparently worn off. Over the past year the visits have started coming less often. They are still definitely in his life, but he only sees them monthly now rather than weekly. The final blow came last month when The Mechanic informed me that he would be moving to California. Apparently his company has cut his hours, and despite the fact that his girlfriend is more than able to work he now needs to move for a new job because she refuses to do so. I was FURIOUS! While I understand the reasons behind the move, I do not agree with them. He and his girlfriend had agreed that when their son was 6 months old she would go back to work. He is now 3 and she refuses to get off her ass to even take care of her child, let alone get a job to contribute to the household. Instead, she plays computer games and chats in chat rooms all day. So now my son is losing another father. He claims that he will still come visit because his girlfriend and son are staying here, but I simply don't see him making the time for K1 even if he does come visit. I mean...he currently lives just one hour away, and still rarely makes the effort to visit his child. Now that he's moving hundreds of miles away I see his efforts coming to a halt.
K1 is the most amazing human being I have ever known. His heart is made of pure gold. He is the type of child who took it upon himself to take the entire contents of his piggy bank to donate to the Haiti relief fund because he wants to help. He is the type of person who never walks by a homeless person or a Salvation Army bell ringer without begging me for money to give to them. He is the type of boy who would take in every stray animal he comes across if only he had a mother who would allow them in her home...so instead he builds them shelters with tarps and takes food out to them so that they will stay dry and fed. He puts others above himself...he always has. He is such an incredible example, not only to his sister, but to me. He is what I strive to be more like everyday.
K1 is currently going through neurological testing. They believe he may have Asperger's Syndrome,which is an autism spectrum disorder. We spent two entire days up at Primary Children's Hospital in SLC to have him checked for seizures etc. We were 20 minutes away from his father, who knew where we were and why we were there. He never showed up. K1 desperately needs his father right now. He has already been through enough dammit! He is scared, he is confused, he is SEVEN! So why, when K1 needs him the most, is he not there?
I suppose the silver lining in all of this is that maybe it will hurt him a little less when daddy doesn't show up if it can be explained away because of distance.
Until next time, much love!
~T

Too Funny Not To Share!

2010-01-22T09:45:00.000-08:00

Until next time, much love!
~T

Must Be Something In the Water

2010-01-18T12:46:00.000-08:00

Feeling much better today. I think I needed to just really feel the pain of it all for a minute or two. It's crazy, I thought I was over it before it ever even ended, but obviously I was not. I think I simply had too much going on, and I didn't have the time or the energy to truly deal with the pain of it all. Now, however, I'm forcing myself to face it head on. I need to deal with it now instead of closeting it away in a corner of my heart, only to have it re-surface again at a later date. So...here I am....dealing with my 5 month old heartbreak.
Nug and I met for a tea at Starbucks on Friday night. She knew about the latest with The Artist, and she wanted to make sure I was doing alright. Apparently she also needed to talk about all the fighting between her and her husband as of late. We had a nice time just bitching about love and the difficulties that come along with it.
Saturday night she showed up on my doorstep again, this time with a couple of bags and the baby in tow. She had a fight with the husband that afternoon, and he had put his hands on her again. It didn't escalate past him grabbing her and holding her arms while he screamed into her face before she bounced, but it was enough for her to leave the house for the night. They spent the night at my place, and we did some serious talking about the future of her marriage. I refuse to tell anyone what they should do when it comes to marriage etc., but I made sure to let her know that I will support her no matter what she decides and that if she does ultimately decide to leave the b*stard, she certainly won't be alone. She has a great support system that will be there to help her, no matter what.
A and her hub were fighting this weekend too. She came over with her two boys on Sunday evening because she just needed out of the house. Her husband is in the marines, and he has been gone for seven months now while she is at home taking care of a 16 month old and a 2 month old, in addition to her two daughters (10 and 12). He goes out drinking and partying every weekend, and she's beginning to get a little resentful. She's tried discussing it with him, but he just doesn't understand where she's coming from. He should be done with job training in March, and they'll be together again. Hopefully once he's home things will get better.
It never fails to amuse me the way my girlfriends and I always seem to be on the same cycle when it comes to relationship issues...or maybe it's simply that we're all on the same CYCLE cycle, so we tend to always be bitchy at the same time, causing all the love drama? ;)
Until next time, much love!
~T

Why NOW, After 5 Months?

2010-01-15T17:24:00.001-08:00

I'm listening to Keith Urban and Rascal Flatts today.
Sh*t.
Until next time, much love!
~T

Apology Accepted

2010-01-14T13:43:00.000-08:00

Got yet another email from The Artist...
"Hello T..I hope your well.Looking back on things I know it could have been better and I could have been a better person to you...I really dont know what was plaguing me but I am sorry for how I treated you.I hope you have a wonderfull new year.
J "

My response, you ask?
"Apology accepted."

And I truly do accept his apology...no bullsh*t. And maybe that's all he needs. Maybe he just needs some sort of closure himself. Maybe he just needs to know that I'm over it all...that I'm ok. I guess with this last email I figured...what the H*ll, I can give him that. Now maybe he can let it all go. So why does my heart hurt so terribly now?
Until next time, much love!
~T

Randomness

2010-01-08T16:39:00.000-08:00

Got another email from The Artist today. Apparently he's "back in the valley of the sun". Yay for him. Wonder if he'll ever stop emailing.
TGTBT got married yesterday. Yay for him. Wonder if he'll ever stop being unfaithful.
Holidays were awesome, awesome, awesome!! I was smart enough to do all my shopping BEFORE December 1st this year so I literally had zero stress, despite the fact that I was hosting Christmas Eve.
Blind date guy called to see if I wanted to "get together" while I was on winter break, and I actually had the back bone to say "thanks, but no thanks". Yay for me. Wonder if I'll ever be able to do that again without feeling like a complete jerk face.
Hung out with Young Buck and his wife last weekend at his sister's birthday party. It was good times. She's quite fantastic, and it looks like he's finally gotten over his awkwardness about us. Yay for that.
Until next time, much love!
~T

I Pretty Much Suck

2009-12-17T10:28:00.000-08:00

Good Heavens I'm a crappy blogger! The truth is...my dating life has been pretty much non-existent this semester, and I get the feeling it will remain that way for the next little bit as my classes seem to be getting harder and harder. Who would have guessed, right? ;)
I did go out on a blind date a couple weeks ago with my friend's husband's co-worker, but truly...the date was SO lame that it doesn't even warrant a blog post! He spent half the time droning on and on about his superior sales techniques and the other half being rude to the wait staff. Is it just me or is that one of the biggest turn-offs in the history of dating?? Oh and I DID spend the last 3 months lusting after my ridiculously hot law professor which kept me rather entertained for 2 1/2 hours each week. Somehow even contract law became fascinating when it was THE Professor doing the lecturing.
I have, however, decided to take a bit of a break from dating. That being said...I certainly wouldn't turn away from any exciting adventures with the opposite sex, but I simply don't have the time to spend looking for options. Sooo I guess my question is this...do I abandon the blog altogether, force you all to wait in anticipation for months between posts (as I so cruelly do now), or do I convert this blog into more of a rambling of random thoughts?? Oh the decisions...
Until next time, much love!
~T

The Long Awaited Update!!

2009-11-12T15:17:00.000-08:00

So I know you've all been on the edge of your seats for WEEKS now, obsessively checking this blog, praying and hoping EVERYDAY, thinking that "today will be the day" that T will FINALLY grace us with an update. Weeeeeeell, today is your lucky day cyber friends, for today I will finish the story of "The Artist"!!
Things with the artist started out magically, but quickly (OH SO VERY QUICKLY) turned, quite literally, insane! From the very first night that he got back to Utah it was bi-polar central. I spoke to him on the phone while he was waiting to board his plane. Life was grand, he was excited to get home, and we had plans for him to come straight to my place for a late dinner. I waited...and I waited...and I waited. He never showed up. He never called. He never even texted.
The next day was filled with apologies and "I can't wait to see you"s. Yet, he blew me off again...claiming he had promised to help his dad with some yard work. Tell me cyber friends, does yard work really ever take 9+ hours? Apparently it does if you're the artist.
Finally the following evening he graced me with his presence. My cousin watched the kidlettes while I went down to see him for the first time in over ten years. The second we actually saw each other everything else just vanished. The world stopped spinning, and life was exactly how it should be. That feeling didn't last long.
Things were fine the next day. He came with us to my work party, and everyone thought he was wonderful.
Things were fine for awhile, except that he would blow me off at least once a week. Then one evening we had agreed to go to dinner with my best friend, Nug, and her hubster. On my way down to meet him at his house he texted and told me he wasn't feeling well. Ok, sure, if this was the first offense I would have just given him the benefit of the doubt, but unfortunately it was not. I certainly didn't rant or rave at him...I simply kept the dinner plans with Nug and her husband. We went to dinner, did a little shopping, and then just hung out at their place until around 1 a.m. I wasn't about to waste a kidless night after all.
Anyway...he absolutely FLIPPED when he found out that I didn't cancel my plans and sit around at home moping. Told me I was heartless, and that I obviously didn't give two sh*ts about him if I wasn't concerned that he was sick. Blah blah blah...he ended up deleting me and my whole family (who he's known for 30 years) from his facebook. Really artist? REALLY?!?!
A couple weeks go by and he's texting and calling, apologizing for his immature behavior etc. I decide to give him another chance. Again...things are going great. He spends July 4th with my family, including Nug and the hub. He adds us all back to his sacred list of friends. Things are absolutely lovely until about 2 weeks after the holiday...until Nug and I start talking about Bahamas plans.
See...Nug and her hub got married at city hall with just her mother and me to witness. They've had an absolutely insane roller coaster marriage, spending more time separated than together, and they've somehow made it through. They want to renew their vows on the beach in the Bahamas with her mother and myself there to witness once again. I, naturally, agreed to go with them. And I agreed to this before the artist ever even entered the picture. The artist, again, throws a little tantrum. I tell him that he's more than welcome to come with us, but that I absolutely will not under any circumstances cancel my plans if he's unable to make the trip. This, apparently, is not ok with him.
He lets the subject drop for the evening, and then refuses to answer my calls and/or texts for about a week...and then changes his relationship status on facebook to "single". Wow, right? THAT is how he's going to break things off? By simply changing his relationship status? Whatever...I really just don't have time for the games. So I ignore it. And I move on. He starts texting and emailing again a couple weeks later, but I was done by that point. I was done with the drama and the bullsh*t. Again...we're all removed from that sacred list of friends. And then the son of a gun AMBUSHES me at my parents house!!!
I go over to my parents house the second weekend in August and there sits the artist, hanging out with the folks. UGH! I basically just ignore him and go about my business, but when he gets up to leave he asks if he can speak with me privately. We step outside and he starts in with the apologies and nonsense again. I eventually agree that we can spend some time together, but that we were IN NO WAY "back together". I let him know that he was on probation, and that one more screw up, one more episode of blowing me off, and he was done. He comes over to help me hang up some artwork in the new place, and makes plans to come back up a few days later for my brother (supposedly his best friend)'s birthday dinner. He never shows up. He never calls. He never texts. He doesn't answer my calls. He doesn't respond to my texts. He emails me through facebook later that evening saying that it was nobody's fault, that he wasn't able to get a car, etc. etc. etc. And THEN he requests to be linked as "in a relationship" with me. Wow...ummmm deny.
He tries emailing and texting, but I just don't have it in me to even respond. I'm so far past it all. He eventually sends some nasty emails, getting pissed that I'm ignoring him. Again...I ignore them. He hasn't stopped...I got another email from him just yesterday. Again...no response.
Anyway...the whole crazy experience with the artist was good for one thing, and one thing only...it helped me to really grow as a person and quit blaming myself for everything. With TGTBT my world was rocked more than I ever could have admitted to anyone, including myself. I spent endless hours trying to figure out what was wrong with ME, why I was somehow unlovable. With the artist...I never once doubted myself. I never once asked myself what I did wrong, what was wrong with ME. I realized that his issues were just that...HIS issues, not mine. And THAT, my friends, was HUGE for me.
Until next time, much love!
~T

:(

2009-09-30T11:50:00.000-07:00

My sweet, darling cousin R lost his newlywed wife on Sunday in a tragic accident. They had been married a mere 6 months and were so very much in love. She was a beautiful girl that brought him more joy than he had ever known. They had just purchased their first home together. She was to be 20 years old on October 4th.
This tragedy has devastated our entire family, but obviously it has crushed R. He blames himself, and he wants his wife back. The poor boy is a widower at the age of 24.
Why am I telling you this? I guess my question is this...is it worth it? Some of you may think I'm jaded...and truly, I am...I admit it. But to see the pain he is in...I just can't fathom it. The old question remains...is it better to have loved and lost, or never to have loved at all?
Of course it is worth it though...she was the light of his life, if only for a short time. She brought him happiness, she brought him a true, undying love. Does that love simply go away now that she has passed? No, he will carry it with him forever more. He will hurt for a long while, but eventually the pain will ease. He will most likely move on, get remarried some day, have a family...but he will never forget his sweet Molly and the beautiful year they shared.
I'm honestly not sure why I'm posting this, other than to put it out there. To remind everyone how fragile life is, and how quickly it can be taken away. Let your loved ones know how much they mean to you. Don't assume that they already know...they probably DO already know, but if tragedy were to strike in your family wouldn't you want to know that you had let that loved one know just how much you cared?
R.I.P Molly girl, you were truly loved!
I promise to give an update on The Artist soon...
Until next time, much love!
~T

Long Time No Post

2009-09-18T11:59:00.000-07:00

And you're still getting nothing ha ha!
I know an update is looooooong overdue, but I honestly just haven't had the heart for this blog lately. I am still alive though so don't give up on me.
In the meantime, a little video that touched my heart when I saw it on another blog. LOOOOOOOOVE my crazy "cult" and the way my heart feels free when I remember where I came from and where I'm going. I don't have to go to church weekly to know that God loves me and has a plan for me. It's only when I forget that (which, honestly, I have lately) that life seems impossible.

Until next time, much love!
~T

2009-07-06T13:15:00.001-07:00

Is This Even Reality??

2009-07-01T13:20:00.000-07:00

Wanna hear a story? You know you do!
When I was a little girl I absolutely idolized my older brother and his friends. They were all 5 years older than me, and the epitome of cool. I grew up with an older sister (4 years my senior) who loathed me from the day I was born, but my brother and his friends were always kind to me. They treated me like I mattered, and at the age of 5 that makes a lasting impression.
Some of the greatest memories of my childhood are going with my brother and his friends to the Boy's Club. We would walk over there and spend the entire day drinking soda out of glass bottles, munching on moon pies, and playing pool and arcade games. They never acted as if I was a burden. They never treated me as a tag-a-long. Instead, they made an effort to invite me to go with them everyday and to include me in their adventures. I was on top of the world! How many other girls my age got to hang out with 4 super cool older boys everyday?
My brother's best friend was the love of my life. At the age of 5 I was already completely smitten with him. I wanted nothing more than to marry him on the black top and hold his hand. He was perfection. And he could moonwalk.
We moved away when I was 6, but moved back to the old neighborhood when I was 11. At 15 I thought my chance had come when he finally kissed me. I thought, for sure, this was it...he finally loved me back. Sadly, at that tender age I failed to realize that a grown man could never have a relationship with a minor and live to tell the tale. I was left brokenhearted, and didn't see my moonwalking prince again for 3 years when I saw him walking down State Street and pulled over to give him a lift. Again, I thought...maybe NOW is our time. Alas, I dropped him off and never saw or spoke to him again.
Until the wonders of facebook.com brought him back to me. Oh Heavens, I'm getting BEYOND cheesy with this one!!!
Anyway...I wake up on Tuesday, May 9 to a friend request blinking at me from my blackberry. Friend request from who you ask??? From JRH (who from this point on will be known as "The Artist" because, well, that's what he is) of course! WOW! Talk about a blast from the past! I hadn't thought of him in years. It had been nearly 10 years since the last time I saw him. I immediately accepted his request and posted a friendly "wow it's been forever, how have you been, blah blah blah" on his wall. A few hours later I get a text from him and the rest is, as we say, history. Well, maybe... You'll just have to stay tuned to find out.
Until next time, much love!
~T

Google Stalker

2009-07-01T12:47:00.000-07:00

Oh my, it's only been a month since my last post...go me! :)
Sooo...how old am I? My 10 year high school reunion is this Friday, and I am not going. Why you ask? Well a)because I totally suck at planning, and by the time I realized that certain things could be shifted it was too late to buy my ticket. Sadness huh? And b)because of the...GOOGLE STALKER. Totally creeptastic story for you, my 4 lucky blog readers!

So I'm plucking along at work one day when I get a gtalk request from someone I don't know. Well, I figured if they had my personal email address they must be someone I know so I accepted the request and asked simply "Do I know you?" Oh goodness did I open up a can of worms!
He proceeded to tell me that we went to high school together and that he found my profile on MSN and thought he would re-connect. He said that my MSN profile listed my gmail address as an alternate email. Well, the problem with that is that I don't HAVE an MSN profile...I have a private profile attached to my hotmail account, but even that only my network can see. Oh AND it does not have my gmail address attached to it AT ALL. Soooo, after some cyberstalking of myself, I found that the only way he could have found my email address would be through either facebook or my high school class website.
Anyway...while I'm trying to figure out who he is he goes on to tell me that he always had a bit of a crush on me etc and was wondering if I would be interested in a "discreet encounter". Eeeew much? Thanks for the offer, but I think I'll pass. I let him know that I thought he was a vile human being and that he should try ashleymadison.com. Then I logged off.
I then ask my IT guys if there's a way they can track down his IP address etc. so that I can find out if it was one of my friends just busting my chops. They tell me that of course they can't track it from an IM, but that if I can get him to send me an actual email they can track it and at least find out what state he is in. I sent the creep an email in an attempt to get him to respond. Success! He responded immediately. Bad news?? His IP address is BLOCKED. Honestly, I don't think many people even know HOW to block their IP address so that's a little sketchy.
Anyway...after admitting defeat I use the beautiful "block" feature on gtalk. Since this episode in early May I have received chat requests from 4 different email addresses...always vague of course. It's now been 2 weeks since the last attempt, however, so maybe he's given up on his little perverted quest??? Here's hopin'!
Until next time, much love!
~T

Booooring Update

2009-05-29T22:07:00.001-07:00

I am the most crap blogger in the history of crap bloggers! Due to insanity at work, finals, and lack of motivation it has been too long since I've updated you all and I have SO much to tell you! How excited are YOU?!?
Let's start with TGTBT. For a number of months now I've suspected that the girl he was starting to date behind my back was, in fact, the same girl that my very first boyfriend allegedly cheated on me with more than 10 years ago. Not even sure why, but I just had a feeling in my gut that there was more going on with them than met the eye. And...I was right...like always. ;) Apparently she was in love with him enough to destroy her marriage by stepping out on her husband with him. Like so many before her, she believed she had found love. Sadly, she was wrong. He has now moved on to yet another unsuspecting victim. Dramatic enough? Seriously though...I wish him all the best. We're still friends, and we talk on a regular basis. While I refuse to admit how terribly the whole TGTBT saga rocked my world, I'm over it now and truly hope that he has finally found someone he can settle down with and remain faithful to. Best of luck guys!
Now on to FB...not much to say about this one. We went to YB's birthday party together, but haven't seen each other since. Texted a few times after the party, but just never managed to hook up again...mainly due to my chaotic schedule. We slowly drifted apart, and after not speaking to him for weeks and weeks he texted me last weekend wanting to hang out. Sadly, by that point I was so far past the point of caring that I just really had no desire to even meet him for a friendly dinner.
The DJ met up with me for my cousin's birthday party a few weeks ago. While I would like to say that it was good to see him, his presence really just pissed me off...not even sure why. He has, surprise surprise, moved in with his baby's mama YET AGAIN. Ooooh the insanity...literally! He's been wanting to get together for dinner every weekend since them, and I have been putting off that moment for as long as I possibly can.
Sooo...there are your updates friends! I have SO much more to tell you, but I think the next few stories are worthy of their own posts! Be on the lookout!
Until next time, much love!
~T

Update Time

2009-03-13T17:43:00.000-07:00

So YB and his nephew had a joint birthday party last week and FB and I decided to go together. I ended up just meeting him there due to the fact that I STILL didn't have bday gifts a mere HOUR before the party started!
Anyway...it was chill and he wants to go out again this weekend, but I'm not sure if that's such a good idea. I mean, it's one thing to hang out together with a bunch of mutual friends, but to go out on an actual date with him just feels like a suuuuuuper dumb idea!
Advice??
Oh and the BM wants to go out next weekend when he's in the valley...
Until next time, much love!
~T

Eh

2009-03-04T13:52:00.000-08:00

Hung out with A, her hubby, and Wedding Boy all weekend. We had a good time chowing, watching Friends and flicks, and most of all playing rounds upon rounds of MarioKart and Guitar Hero.
He's cute, charming, intelligent, kind, and fun! I thoroughly enjoyed every minute with him. Sadly though, there really just wasn't any chemistry...at least on my end anyway. We'll definitely hang out again, but whether anything else will come of it is yet to be seen.
Until next time, much love!
~T

Just Call Me Chaz

2009-02-26T16:46:00.001-08:00

My “date” (quotations standing simply for the fact that all the date consisted of was hanging out and watching an 80’s mobster flick ha ha) with FB went pretty well. Sadly though, YB’s sister waited until just after I left his mom’s place, where he was house sitting, to let me know that he’s quite the player. Kind of a bummer considering how adorably charming he is, but I’m not about to play that game again. We text sporadically still, but I’m thinking he will make a much better friend than a lover.
Soooo what’s a girl who just funeral crashed supposed to do? Wedding crash of course! Remember my darling friend A who got married on January 31st? The best man and I will apparently be doubling with them this weekend.
I will now be legally changing my name to Chaz.
Until next time, much love!
~T

Funeral Boy

2009-02-20T17:23:00.000-08:00

Funeral Boy and I are going on our second "date" tonight...wish me luck! Details to follow when I have more time!
Until next time, much love!
~T

What Do YOU Think?

2009-02-11T16:58:00.001-08:00

Totally hypothetical here ;)....

Say a girl decides to venture into the exciting world of cradle robbing for a few months with an old family friend, only to have it not quite work out. Let's say that our girl, however, remains good friends with her *gasp* 4 YEARS YOUNGER boytoy and his sisters. Then let's say that their mother passes away after more than a year of suffering and our hypothetical girl goes to the funeral to support the family, including her old boytoy and his lovely new fiance.
So my question is this.......
How inappropriate would it be for that hypothetical girl to score a date at said funeral with her ex-flame (who happens to be the deceased's son)'s best friend?? Do-able or horrible??
Until next time, much love!
~T

The DJ Bugs

2009-02-02T17:19:00.001-08:00

Now that I'm feeling a bit better, I thought I would catch you up on the whole "I Kinda Hate the DJ" thing

A few weekends ago I was kidless and bored so I decided to go spend the weekend with my cousin CaCA. I went up Saturday evening, spent the night and went to church with her the next morning, spent another night with her, and then went back to the valley on Monday for work.
Sunday night the DJ came by to watch a flick with us. I had come down with a pretty nasty cold the day before and was basically just hatin' it so I certainly wasn't up for leaving the COUCH, let alone the HOUSE. We put on Pineapple Express and I fell asleep within the first 10 minutes. I apologized profusely to him upon waking up, but could tell he was still irritated. He then starts in on how boring I am and how I never wanna go "out".
I was a little taken aback, considering the fact that I seem to never NOT be out! I'm always at school or work, and on the weekends I spend time out with my kids or with my darling friends. Apparently, however, unless I go "out" to the bar and drink myself into a stupor, I'm not going out. I'm not a drinker and I never really have been. It's just not my thing. And honestly...who the hell is HE to tell me that I'm somehow "less than" simply because I'm not a drunk?!
I was sicker than a damn dog and not in the mood for his crap so I told him to have a good night and opened the door wide for him.
Ugh...he just BUGS!
Until next time, much love!
~T

Honest Scrap Award

2009-02-02T17:08:00.000-08:00

The rules:

1) Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.

2) Show the 7 winners names and links on your blog, and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with "Honest Scrap." Well, there's no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon.

3) List at least 10 honest things about yourself.

1. My dear friend Heather-- I love that after more than 10 years, we've been able to get back in touch and keep up with each other through the wonder of the world wide web!

2. A Daily Scoop--This is such an inspirational blog. I am so amazed by the strength of this beautiful family

3. Bowles Family Blog-- My friend Alida is so funny! I love to hear about the many adventures she and her 5 adorable kiddos have!

4. Seriously So Blessed--HILARIOUS!!

5. Real Life--My good friend Jen is a phenomenal writer and she's included some of her pieces on her awesome blog!

6. A Sweet Sale--She does all the work for me when it comes to grocery deals!

7. Hair Today--Super cute ideas for my little diva's hair!

1. I am currently questioning my entire career path and thinking about changing my major.

2. I am a shopaholic...and a half!

3. My children are my everything...they make my life truly enjoyable.

4. I am terrified of failure!

5. I always spread myself too thin.

6. Then I refuse to admit that I have spread myself too thin.

7. I seem to be incapable of asking for help.

8. I'm a hopeless romantic.

9. I lack confidence...but I fake it well at least! :)

10. I have been blessed with the most incredible friends and family a girl could ever ask for.

Until next time, much love!
~T

My Wannabe Post

2009-01-23T11:42:00.000-08:00

I've been a total crap blogger lately, due to a pretty nasty cold. So to get you all by until my next brilliantly witty post, I have a steal of a deal for all you mamas out there!
Until next time, much love!
~T

Three Truths

2009-01-19T17:49:00.001-08:00

I realized three things this weekend...

1. I should've gone to bloody Santa Barbara

2. I kinda hate The DJ

and

3. I'm still ridiculously hot for The Jock

More on these three facts when I'm not a "walking cesspool of viral plague".

Until next time, much love!
~T

Make Up Yo Mind Please!

2009-01-15T17:51:00.001-08:00

The Jock is such a trip! One day he's going on and on about how I'm too young for him and asking if I have any older friends that I can set him up with. Blah blah blah...you freaking SUCK balls! But then the next day he's inviting me to accompany him to Santa Barbara (if I'm prepared to follow the rules anyway ha ha).
Seriously though...he drives me nuts! Dubbelyew Tee Eff sir?!?
Until next time, much love!
~T

Happy News!!!!!

2009-01-15T17:48:00.000-08:00

For some other girl anyway ha ha!
YB is getting married! He proposed to his girlfriend on New Year's Eve. YAY for them! But really...is anyone NOT getting married?! Sheesh!
Until next time, much love!
~T

Can Men and Women Just Be Friends?

2009-01-13T16:31:00.001-08:00

Well if you didn't figure it out from my last post...TGTBT and I are back at the game board once again. We've been seeing a bit of each other again lately and it's actually been pretty nice.
He came over last Monday to watch a little One Tree Hill since his TV is apparently not working. It was a bit awkward, we both stayed strictly to our corner of the couch, but we got through it and actually ended up enjoying ourselves. He left shortly after OTH, asking if he could come back next week to watch.
I talked to him a couple times throughout the next week because he was helping me to find a decent dishwasher for my mom for her birthday, and then installing it as well. Luckily, each time we saw each other was a little less awkward then the last.
He came over again last night for OTH and to change out my dryer plug for me. I made spaghetti and key lime cream cheese pie. We ate dinner and watched OTH. My cousin showed up about halfway through OTH and we all had fun ragging on each other. He left around 9:30 with plans to come back again next Monday saying "...if I don't see you before that anyway" So...apparently we are friends again, and to be honest I'm glad. I absolutely adore the guy and while it may twinge a bit to be near him, especially when he goes in for the goodnight kiss *sigh*, I value him as a friend and I'm glad to have him back in my life. Besides...if nothing else, at least I get my sinks unclogged for free!
Until next time, much love!
~T

Unsolicited Advice

2009-01-13T16:22:00.000-08:00

Why oh why does JGG feel the need to give me "dating advice" all the bloody time?!
He asked me about 2 weeks ago how TGTBT was and I told him simply that I didn't know because we hadn't really been speaking lately. He asks how I'm taking it and if I'm sad to which I respond that of course I'm sad, but I'm dealing just fine. Noooo response...
A few days ago I get a facebook email that says...
"How is life Tara? I still need the full update on what Happened with TGTBT....Hopefully you are dealing well with it all."
Ummm well I TRIED to give you the update weeks ago, but apparently you were too damn busy to listen then! I'm absolutely NOT going to repeat myself, yet again, for you! So I respond with...
"Life is fine...dealing fine with it all. Hope you're well."
And JGG again...
"I am sorry it did not work out, I know you really liked him a lot. His loss...let him feel the pain and DO NOT CONTACT HIM AT ALL."
Ugh! That's all he's preached to me from day 1! Don't contact him! Let him feel the pain of losing you! Blah blah freakin' blah blah!
My response you ask?
"That's not really the way I work. I'm not a game player. We took some time to get our heads around everything and are doing the friends thing now. It's still a bit painful from time to time, but he's a good person and we both care a lot about each other so a friendship is better for us then losing each other completely. Hope you're well!"
And you guessed it ladies....noooo response ha ha!
But my question is...why on Earth does he CARE?!?
Until next time, much love!
~T

JGG Has Lost His Marbles

2009-01-07T13:00:00.000-08:00

JGG has seemingly gone off the freakin' deep end! The other night I'm sitting at home watching some OTH after I put the kids to bed and I get a facebook notification on my blackberry. It was a new wall post from The Jock.
"Sit on me and spin...pony rides for free"
I immediately knew it wasn't actually from The Jock so I just deleted it. But it didn't stop there! Before my slow a** blackberry could even delete a wall post, I had a new one! They went as follows....
"Come over and lets play naked twister"
"Don't be shy...bring it on over here and lets play Mommy and Daddy games"
"Why are you being all shy...you know you want it. BAD"
"I will play naughty santa and you can be my elf"
"QUIT erasing my love post's"
"Ride my pony please"
"And then we can cuddle"
"and make pancakes"
"Then we can watch Oprah"
Mind you...I didn't even include the worst ones!!
After the first 1 or 2 I texted The Jock and told him he needed to change his facebook password. Luckily, he was able to change it from his iPhone and kick JGG off, but my question is.....WTF?!?!?!?! Who in the WORLD actually thinks that those posts are in ANY WAY appropriate or funny?? My parents, as well as many of my colleagues, are facebook friends and would be subjected to that crudeness if they happened to look at my profile at 10:00 p.m. SO inappropriate and in NO WAY funny if you ask me!
He did text and apologize the next day. I accept his apology, but I definitely see him in a different light now! And thank Heaven for the blackberry facebook application so that I was able to delete them immediately!
Until next time, much love!
~T

LDB Needs a New GF!

2009-01-07T12:57:00.000-08:00

LDB and I have had a pretty rocky relationship since the divorce. Things were pretty nasty for a few months, but once the divorce papers were signed we were able to cultivate a nice friendship for the sake of the munchkins. Until he hooked up with Miss Crazy Pants anyway! Thankfully, they broke up a few months ago and things between LDB and I have gone back to normal. An unfortunate side-effect of the break-up, however, is that now LDB is lonely and, apparently, quite horny. The other night, after dropping K2 off, he asks me point blank...
"Wanna have some sex?"
AH HA HA HA HA HA NOOOOOOOOO THANK YOU!!!!
I simply said "Ewww no!"
Exit LDB.
Until next time, much love!
~T

Drama All Up In This Blog!!

2008-12-29T13:32:00.001-08:00

Wow...who knew that a silly little personal blog that gets what, like 5 readers, could cause such a ruckus?!?
So my profile avatar image was just a random picture I came across on photobucket. I thought it was clever and fitting so I snagged it and uploaded it. Never in my wildest imaginings did I consider the drama it would cause due to one poor, pathetic author.
I had no idea what the image was or where it came from, but apparently it is the cover for some obscure book that nobody has ever even heard of. Or some obscure book I certainly had never heard of at any rate.
Last night my cousin CaCA got home from a trip to VA for the holidays and stopped by my place to catch up for a bit before heading down to our grandmother's house for the night. Due to a slight mishap while driving in the snow, she got to my place around 11:30 and stayed until 1:30 or so. As a single mom who works full time and goes to school full time I'm rarely up that late so it was a bit of a one-off.
Anyway...at 12:30 a.m. I get an email to my Blackberry that someone had posted a new comment for approval on my blog.
"I've tried to contact you otherwise, but don't see your email:

You are currently violating copyright laws by using my book cover as your avatar/logo.

In the "About Me" section, that's the cover to my book "Single Mom Seeking."

It's protected and copyrighted by Seal Press and you need permission from them to use it on the web.

I'm urging you to delete it/replace it ASAP.

Thank you so much!! Here's to single moms... let's just do this without violating any laws or trying to impersonate.

Thanks,
Rachel "

My cousin and I had a pretty good laugh about the ridiculousness of this message and since I don't currently have internet access at home (thanks to my laptop deciding to take a crap on me) I planned to just remove the image when I got to work at 2:00 the next afternoon (today). However, apparently 14 hours was faaaaaaaar to long for Miss Rachel to wait because I got the following comment a mere 11 hours later at 11:30 this morning...
"I see that you have not yet taken my book cover off your site -- claiming it as your own.

I'm sorry to be such a stickler about this, but you're violating some very strict copyrighting laws. What you're doing is illegal.

I have now reported your infringement to Blogger.com.

If my book cover is not removed promptly, I will have your blog shut down. "

OOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is this crazy lady JOKING?!? Heaven forgive me for not logging into blogger in the middle of the freaking night to make sure I don't have urgent comments in need of my immediate attention!
Anyway...the image has now been removed and sadly this is one book that I probably would have gone out and purchased ASAP if the insane author had simply gone about things in a mature and reasonable manner, but I absolutely will not be buying it now. SHEEEEEEEEEEESH!!
I certainly was not trying to "impersonate" someone I don't know from Adam and I certainly was not trying to "claim as my own" some bomb of a book that I had never even heard of!
My apologies, Rachel, for the obvious distress my "illegal" actions have caused you.
Hope you all got as good of a laugh out of all this ridiculous and pointless drama as CaCA and I have! Now who wants to make me a new single mommy image for my avatar???
Until next time, much love!
~T

Gross

2008-12-22T17:18:00.000-08:00

Ready for another random text from JGG? Apparently he got out of county early for good behavior...or SUMTHIN! Bear in mind that I haven't spoken to him in WEEKS!

12/17/2008 8:11 pm
JGG: Lets be naughty

Ooooh like running with scissors and coloring on the walls naughty?!?

WTF?!? Randomly pervy much?!? Who DOES that?!? Gross, gross, gross!
Until next time, much love!
~T

Weirdness

2008-12-16T13:35:00.000-08:00

My grandmother and my aunt flew in from Mississippi last night. Their flight arrived at 8:20 and, as usual, I was given the honor of the airport pick-up. Sadly, I'm a total crap driver on even the brightest of summer days so snowy nights are definitely not my forte'.
Enter TGTBT.
I haven't seen TGTBT in over a month and a half. We've only spoken through text sporadically in that time. I certainly wasn't driving up there myself though! Gave him a call and he quickly agreed to be my chauffer.
Weird weird weird. Let's just say things are not the same AT ALL. He was pleasant enough, but distant. Apparently a little more time needs to pass before we can reclaim our friendship.
So here's my question for you...do I try again or do I say screw it? My mother is in a singing group with the mother of a very old and dear friend of mine. They are singing up in SLC on Friday and I'm planning on taking the kids up to watch their performance and then look at the gorgeous lights of temple square with H and her family. TGTBT and H have known each other since Jr. High but haven't seen each other in years. Do I invite him to come up with us and have a happy little reunion? Hmmmm
Until next time, much love!
~T

And The Winner Is...

2008-12-16T13:25:00.001-08:00

J!
I will be taking my good friend J to the company Christmas party.
I was planning on taking Nug, but she has bronchitis and strep along with being pregnant (she just found out on Saturday and I could not be more excited)!!! Needless to say, she's not feeling up to it.
Then I figured I would take JGG. Sadly, he is in the good old county jail for 14 days. That, however, is a post for another day ha ha!
Choice #3??? The jock. Too bad he's in Costa Rica.
What's a girl to do now? There are other options, but sadly I think they would all either read far too much into the invitation or embarrass me in front of my co-workers.
SOOO Jiggity Jiggity J it is! He's a BEAUTIFUL specimen of a man and tons of fun to be around. The best part...we can just go as friends without any "date" pressure! There is absolutely zero attraction there, due almost in whole to the fact that I'm a pathetic young thing who is still in love with TGTBT UGH. We went to high school together, but lost touch after graduation. Until he randomly showed up in my AmHer class this semester that is! So I have my little buddy back with the added bonus of never having to find a real date again! Hooray!
It's been snowing for the past 2 days and will continue to snow throughout the week, causing the canyon to be closed to all who do not have chains or 4WD so he will be driving us all (himself, my parents and I) up the canyon in his lovely Dodge. Thank Heaven for men and their obsession with big trucks!
Until next time, much love!
~T

OOOOOOMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!

2008-12-12T16:09:00.000-08:00

Today I met the love of my life *sigh*

Until next time, much love!
~T

I Would Like To Thank All The Little People...

2008-12-09T16:43:00.000-08:00

Thank you so much Heather for this Fabulous Blog award!

Here are my "Fabulous" favorite blog sites (in no particular order)!

1. Sending this one back to you Heather-- I love that after more than 10 years, we've been able to get back in touch and keep up with each other through the wonder of the world wide web!

2. A Daily Scoop--This is such an inspirational blog. I am so amazed by the strength of this beautiful family

3. Bowles Family Blog-- My friend Alida is so funny! I love to hear about the many adventures she and her 5 adorable kiddos have!

4. Seriously So Blessed--HILARIOUS!!

5. Real Life--My good friend Jen is a phenomenal writer and she's included some of her pieces on her awesome blog!

Alright on to my five fabulous addictions:

1. One Tree Hill!!! I am completely OBSESSED with this ridiculous show! I had never actually seen an episode until this year, but TGTBT is a fan and got me thoroughly hooked. Now I've been up late every night watching old seasons in an attempt to catch up.

2. Celebrity gossip mags...it's a sickness.

3. Reading. I've been a bookworm since before I can remember. A perfect night for me is curling up on the couch, wrapped in a soft blanket, with a cup of hot cocoa and a great book!

4. Shopping...sadly, this addiction seems to be entirely out of my control. Maybe I should hit a meeting of some sort??

5. Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love everything about the holiday season! Even though it basically sucks nuts being single during the holidays, I'm still enjoying every minute of it with my sweet little munchkins.

Alright ladies, here are the rules to receiving this award:

1. You have to pass it on to 5 other fabulous blogs in a post.
2. You have to list 5 of your fabulous addictions in the post.
3. You must copy and paste the rules and the instructions below in the post.Instructions:On your post of receiving this award, make sure you include the person that gave you the award and link it back to them. When you post your five winners, make sure you link them as well. To add the award to your post, simply right-click, save image, then "add image" it in your post as a picture so your winners can save it as well. To add it to your sidebar, add the "picture" gadget. Also, don't forget to let your winners know they won an award from you by emailing them or leaving a comment on their blog.Now get to it I can't wait to see your creativity in recreating your own blog awards!
Until next time, much love!
~T

Facebook Disaster

2008-12-08T14:48:00.001-08:00

Who knew that the simple act of deleting ones relationship status field, along with many other fields mind you, could cause such a ruckus!?
I was doing a little profile maintenance, and deleted my "single" status. I didn't change it, I simply deleted the field completely. Facebook then decided to tell everyone I know that I am "no longer listed as single". IMMEDIATELY phones started ringing, texts started coming in, comments were posted, and emails were received. It was CHAOS! Even my parents asked me about it! TGTBT waited the appropriate 2 weeks to say anything, but even he sent a text asking about it.
Soooo...word to the wise, unless you want to spend DAYS explaining to everyone that there is NOT in fact "a lucky guy", NEVER UPDATE YOUR FACEBOOK PROFILE!
Until next time, much love!
~T

For the Company Party...

2008-12-03T16:30:00.000-08:00

I know what you're thinking...brown for the holidays?!
But it's beautiful, no? Picture it with a cream colored cardigan and some gorgeous heels.
Until next time, much love!
~T

She's Baaaaack

2008-12-03T15:19:00.000-08:00

KKK that is.
Apparently they are "friends" again. Does it never end with this fool? And why do I even care? THAT is the million dollar question.
Until next time, much love!
~T

Mojo

2008-12-01T17:56:00.001-08:00

So after the depressing fluff that was my last post, I couldn't help but share my latest conversation with K2 with you. Mondays are "early out days" so I pick him up from school and he rides with me to work where I switch off with my mom and she takes him home. This was today's car conversation...
K2: Mom, did I tell you the bad news?
Me: What babe?
K2: My girlfriend Sarah broke up with me again.
Me: Oh no, I'm sorry baby. Why did she break up with you?
K2: She said I lost my mojo.
Me: *In hysterics* I'm sorry sweetheart, but I think you have more mojo than any other kid I know!
K2: Well you're wrong. Now I have to get my mojo back by camping in the woods alone at night. You can come with me though since you lost your mojo a long time ago.

AH HA HA HA HA HA I love that crazy kid!
Until next time, much love!
~T

Blah...

2008-11-25T17:41:00.000-08:00

For the most part, I’m very happy with my life. Is it stressful trying to raise 2 kids on my own while working full time and going to school full time? Absolutely! Stress, anxiety, and a lack of sleep are my way of life. But after a long day of school and work I get to walk in the door of my mom’s house to pick up the kids and the look of pure joy that flashes across their faces at the sight of their mommy is more than enough reward for my hard work. I enjoy the privilege of tucking my monkeys into bed and reading them bedtime stories every night. And I have a job that I love! What more could I ask for?
Unfortunately there are times, this week for example, where I feel like I may just be the only single person in the universe and it’s not a particularly pleasant feeling.
It seems as if everyone I know has their match, their companion, their partner. Spouses, life partners, long-time loves. Even my best friend whose marriage has been an absolute atrocity since the day they said “I do” has her rare moments of marital bliss. My cousin who pretty much loathes her boyfriend most of the time is just happy to say that she HAS a boyfriend. And lately I’ve been wondering…who could really blame her?
The holidays are a difficult and depressing time to be single. Not only is it necessary to keep up with everyday life but I now also have to bake, shop, play Santa, be merry, and put on a smile for Christmas parties full of happily coupled people.
Sometimes it really would be a welcome change to have someone to battle through the black Friday crowds and company Christmas parties with.
So for those of you that have your special someone, do me a favor...tonight, for just one night, please don't take it for granted.
Until next time, much love!
~T

Yuletide Yuckity Yuck

2008-11-12T16:44:00.000-08:00

So the company Christmas party is coming up in about a month. It'll be a beautiful party at a gorgeous ski lodge surrounded by "the greatest snow on earth". I'm excited for the party, but still dreading it all the same. Why, you ask? Because of the "T + Guest" DATE factor ugh! Let me tell you about the great time I had at the company party last year!
Last year I had every intention of simply taking my best friend Nugget as my date. We've been friends since Jr. High and honestly there's nobody I would rather spend a night mingling with my coworkers in formal dress with. Nug and I have fun no matter what we do! The two of us can liven up even the dullest of parties, so it's no surprise that I would want her to be my date right? When I told my colleagues my plans, however, they told me in no uncertain terms that I most definitely was NOT bringing my friend as my date, I was bringing a DATE date. Unfortunately, I gave in to the peer pressure.
Enter Lexus
Lexus was a Lexus car dealer who I had met *gasp* online. We had only gone out once before, to lunch. I actually quite liked him. Until I went out with him a 2nd time that is. I let the other single girls in the office talk me into inviting him to the party and then dialed the number before I could think better of the idea. He quickly agreed and I immediately started wishing I had just gone with my gut instinct to take the Nugster.
The night of the party he met me at the club house where the party was being held. We had an hour or so to mingle and drink mocktails until dinner was served. Seeing as how I had only really met him once before, we ended up not having much to say to each other. I introduced him to my co-workers, but apparently I wasn't the only person he didn't have much to say to. He simply stood there, playing with his new iPhone and acting as if he were way too cool for school.
We enjoyed an absolutely delicious meal, after which he got to sit through an hour of speeches from the top executives in the company. As much as I could understand his boredom at this point, he could have at least refrained from his over-exaggerated yawns and eye rolling couldn't he? After company awards were given out, we played a large game of Balderdash as table teams. Not only was he disgustingly dull, he was also a big fat CHEATER! I mean really...who CHEATS at an office Christmas party?!? Other than his first few attempts at cheating he finally gave up and just sat there in awkward silence for the remaining hour. I was ready to slice my wrists just to get away from him!
Finally, mercifully, the party ended and I was able to make my escape! Not before I retrieved my coat, however, where I was forced to make 2 more introductions...my parents. Did I mention that my mother works with me and was therefore in attendance that night, with my dad?!
I think this year I really might just take my NugNug because if I have to suffer through another night even half as bad as last year I just might lose my mind!
Until next time, much love!
~T

Kids Say The Darndest Things

2008-11-11T16:53:00.000-08:00

K1 has been on this kick for MONTHS now about how I need a boyfriend to marry me because he wants me to produce a little brother for him. He's been rather disappointed in me lately, wondering what in the world is so wrong with his mom that she can't land herself a boyfriend. Here is our latest conversation on the topic.
K1: Mom, are you the only one without a boyfriend?
Me: No sweetie, there are plenty of people in the world who don't have boyfriends, I promise.
K1: Right! Like Kristen's mom, she has a GIRLfriend instead of a BOYfriend! Why don't you get one of those?!
Well gee, why hadn't I thought of that? Silly boy!
Until next time, much love!
~T

Rude Much?

2008-11-07T18:39:00.000-08:00

Ugh! SO annoyed with TGTBT at the moment!
TGTBT has been sleeping on a tiny little twin size bed for the past few weeks. When he got divorced his ex took EVERYTHING with her. Luckily he had a friend who needed a place to store some furniture while she moved home and her husband was in Alaska (commercial fisherman). They came back about a month and 1/2 ago to start looking for a place and make a permanent home for themselves. They found a house a few weeks ago, so along with his house guests went the couch and the bed. He's been making due with the twin, but complaining about it all the same. Unfortunately, due to this crap economy and his line of work he hasn't been able to replace it yet. Lucky for him though, he has (had??) me. :) A friend of a friend bought a new mattress set and didn't know what to do with their old one. It was in INCREDIBLE condition! Not sure why they got rid of it actually. So I told them I would gladly take it off their hands.
THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN....work has been kinda slow for him lately, making cash pretty hard to come by. Yesterday the wife of a guy I work with randomly changed her facebook (addicted much T? sheesh) status to "...is looking for an ELECTRICIAN. Does anyone know of one that is reasonably priced." Well hoorayness...I DO! So I got the info from her to forward on to TGTBT.
Imagine the elation if you were TGTBT and got a random text after not even hearing from me in 2 days that stated simply "I have a queen size mattress set for you and a quick electrical job if you're available to give a bid". How cool am I right? How lucky is he?
Anyway...he quickly agreed to the job. I gave her a quick quote of $400 which is 1/2 what she would have normally had to pay an electrician, but still a good fee for his mornings work. Lucky sucka...how many people just have work thrown in their lap like that right?
I got off work at 7:00 and my Nugster met me at my place with her truck to go pick up the mattress and deliver it to him. I told him we would be there around 9:00. We pulled up to his place around 8:45 only to see that he HAD ANOTHER GIRL THERE!! There was a car in the driveway that I recognized from the night he drove me to SLC to get my car. Some chick had pulled up as we were driving away and he stopped to talk to her and let her know he was on his way out but would give her a call. That incident pissed me off enough! And now here I am DELIVERING AN EFFING MATTRESS TO HIM and she's there?!? HE KNEW I WAS COMING!!! You would think he could have planned his date around that! Sheesh!
We honked, I texted...no response. He never came out. Are you KIDDING me?!? We took the mattress out of the back of the truck and left it in the middle of his driveway. I sent him a text that said "Enjoy" and we were on our way. I could NOT believe it! After everything I had done for him that day, THIS is how he treats me?! Talk about disrespect!
About an hour later he sent me some bullshit text saying he hadn't heard me, blah blah blah. Whatever TGTBT...you really were just that!
Until next time, much love!
~T

Let's Talk Politics Yeah?

2008-11-05T14:59:00.001-08:00

Wow...what an incredible and historical election! Regardless of who you voted for, it feels amazing to have been a part of it, doesn't it?
This election left me so conflicted though. I loved a lot of what each candidate had to offer. I also loathed a lot of what each candidate had to offer. Ultimately, I made the decision that I personally felt was best for my country. Many would not agree with my decision, and that is A-OK in my book. That is the magic of this great nation...we have the RIGHT and the PRIVILEGE to vote and voice our own opinions!
TGTBT and I have vastly different political views. He is a very conservative republican whereas I tend to be more on the liberal side. Though we've discussed politics and watched the debates together, we have always refrained from getting into a political debate with each other simply because we respect each other enough not to go there. I have always valued and respected his opinion even though it is not the same opinion that I hold myself. I have never thought less of him in any way because of his political beliefs and, I hope, he has never thought less of me for mine. That was until the results were calculated.
Last night I was unable to find a sitter for the Rock The Vote concert so instead I had friends over to hang out, eat junk, and watch the election night coverage. We all had differing views on things, and had cast our vote for opposing candidates, but we still came together in support of our country to wait in anticipation for the announcement of our country's next president. It came as no surprise when we found out that Barack Obama had in fact secured the presidential seat.
I voted for Obama. It was not an easy decision, but ultimately he was my guy. That's not to say that I don't think John McCain would have made a noble choice. I honestly would have stood behind him 100% had he won the election. Why? Because as an American citizen it is my civic duty to stand alongside my fellow citizens and to back our elected officials, even if I may not completely agree with the decisions they make. I only wish others felt the same way.
As soon as the announcement was made Facebook completely blew up with status updates...everyone had to get in their 2 cents about how this nation is going to hell in a hand basket. I was absolutely FLOORED by the disgusting, hateful things that were being posted on the world wide web. Though TGTBT was not necessarily hateful, and was tame as a kitten compared to others, his comments rubbed me the wrong way. He was going on an on about how he was starving but couldn't eat because he was so sickened by the results, and welcoming everyone to the "socialist states of America".
I don't think there is anything wrong with being disappointed that your candidate lost, but really...get over it. What's done is done, it cannot be changed. You now have 2 choices...move on and learn to stand united with the evil democrats of the world ;) or leave this great nation for pastures that may appear greener at this moment in time. I hear Iraq will soon be an America-free zone...maybe you should start looking at real estate there. :P
Can two people with such vastly different views co-exist peacefully?

Until next time, much love!
~T

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

2008-11-05T11:38:00.000-08:00

Had the most horrific dream!! I was in a room with my parents, having to inform them that they were, once again, going to be grandparents...I was knocked up! When I woke up, my tummy felt all hard and crampy. Talk about a nightmare...and a HALF!
Until next time, much love!
~T

Random

2008-11-04T16:57:00.000-08:00

Totally random text I received from JGG yesterday....

"You need to kick TGTBT in his bean bag"

Ummmmmm.....ok

Until next time, much love!
~T

Meet The Family

2008-11-04T16:28:00.000-08:00

You know what I've always thought should be included in a party planning idea book??? Having a Halloween party with your entire family and the family of the man you're stuck in a ridiculous are-we-friends-or-lovers-or-WHAT mess with!
K2 is turning 4 on Saturday! I decided to throw her a Halloween themed birthday bash this last weekend since she'll be with her daddio on her actual birthday weekend. Unfortunately, my pad is TINY! I could have had the party at my mom's house, but that would have meant being forced to invite my sister-in-law who is even more evil than KKK if that is possible! I was discussing my dilemma with TGTBT last month and he suggested having the party at his house. He's got a nice, large house with plenty of room for guests and his boys were going to be in town as well so I figured why the hell not? That was, of course, when he and I were still living our happy little fantasy, but in trying to rise above my heartache I decided this weekend to stick with the original plan and hold the shindig at his house.
I get there early Sunday to set up and his mom and sister are there. I had told him he was welcome to invite his family, but didn't think for a minute that they would actually come...but come they did. I've met most of his family before, but it was still intensely awkward! Here we are in this weird transition phase, not knowing where we stand as a couple or even friends, and we're having a MEET THE PARENTS night! How RELATIONSHIPPY can you GET?!? Geeeez!! It was weird and awkward and semi-uncomfortable, but being the oh-so-mature adults that we are we all got along swimmingly during the 2 hours we were together and saved the trash talking until we got home.
The kids, thankfully, got along WONDERFULLY! And after spending a couple hours together on Halloween and again on Sunday I am, I must admit, completely in love with his little guys!
Until next time, much love!
~T

Return of The Devil

2008-11-04T16:19:00.000-08:00

Holy randomness!!!!
Remember good old KKK? I haven't even THOUGHT about her in weeks! She and TGTBT haven't spoken in over a month and she's just kind of been a thing of the past...until Friday that is!
I'm a full time student at the local university. KKK is also a student there but luckily I have never seen her on campus.
Due to an appalling lack of parking I'm forced to take a shuttle bus from the parking lot to the main campus. Imagine my surprise when I hop on the shuttle bus on Friday, only to see KKK sitting 4 seats down and across from me! Even though I've never actually seen her in person I recognized her right away and could tell that she recognized me as well. We both sat there trying to pretend not to notice the other. I even went so far as to put in my earbuds even though my iPod battery was dead just to seem nonchalant ha ha!
Luckily we were only on the bus for a total of 10 minutes and then went our separate ways, her looking back over her shoulder as she walked away. Talk about awkward though sheesh!
Until next time, much love!
~T

Swallow Your Pride T

2008-11-04T15:35:00.000-08:00

What an interesting weekend I had last week...
Last Saturday I was kidless so TGTBT and I had plans to get together and watch a movie, but after working late he told me it was probably a little bit late to start a movie. I was beyond irritated, not that he didn't want to watch a movie but that he was flaking out on me when we hadn't seen each other in almost 3 weeks! I thought my snotty response was enough to let him know I was less than happy with him, but he IS pretty darn oblivious. Since our plans for the night were now canceled, I decided to hang out with my cousins.
We were kickin' it at my place and around 11:30 decided we absolutely HAD to have a Starbucks pumpkin spice latte. The nearest Starbucks is in the mall parking lot, so we head there. We pull into the lot and immediately our attention is drawn to 3 insanely gorgeous cars, with 3 insanely gorgeous men standing outside of them talking car and driver. Talk about a distraction! CaCa (our fearless driver) was, in fact, so distracted that she failed to hear my repeated cries of "Curb! Curb!! CURB!!!" in time. This was no ordinary curb that she slammed into and drove across, it was GARGANTUAN! Luckily she was speeding enough that she made it over the entire curb with all 4 tires rather than getting the belly of the car stuck! Embarrassed to have committed this foolish act in front of said hotties, she sped off and around the corner continuing on to our destination...that's when the car started wobbling and shaking. We pulled over next to the Starbucks which, just our luck, was closed anyway and got out to examine the car. The front passenger tire was blown beyond repair. NOW WHAT?!? I'm sure if I even knew what a jack looked like I could manage to change the tire, but do we really want to take that risk? What else was there but to swallow my pride and call TGTBT? He of course came to rescue us, only to find that we didn't have a jack. Luckily some nice young men had just gotten off work at PF Changs and provided us with a jack and some tire changing assistance so the job was done in mere minutes. I was still pretty irked with TGTBT but decided to let it go...for the time being.
The next day was Sunday and I woke up with renewed annoyance and decided I would give myself a day to get over it before I tried talking to him. Unfortunately that didn't quite work out once I realized that CaCa would no longer be able to take me up to SLC to pick up my car that had just finished getting repaired. Again, I had to swallow my pride and beg TGTBT for his assistance. The drive up was nothing short of painful. I spent a good 30 minutes hiding tears behind my sunglasses because it hurts so badly to even be near him, let alone to discuss the things we were discussing. He dropped me off at my car and I kissed him goodbye, not planning to see him for at least a week until K2's birthday bash. That resolve lasted a total of 10 hours, until I woke up to a toilet that refused to flush.
Due to an extreme toilet bowl OCD I somehow managed to get a scrub brush head stuck in the toilet approximately 2 months ago. I was able to snake the crap out of the toilet, and it actually worked for quite some time! Unfortunately Monday was the day it decided it no longer loved me. I plunged it, I snaked it, I BEGGED it to work...all to no avail. Who could I call? Should I shell our hundreds of dollars for a plumber just to save my pride? Detecting a pattern here??? I called TGTBT. He came out and had to actually remove the entire toilet to get the brush head out from the other side. It took him close to an hour, but when that hour was over I once again had a working toilet!
I'm a very independent person...sometimes to a fault. It is no easy task for me to swallow my pride and ask for help. Especially when the person I need help from is someone I'm not exactly happy with at the moment. My ego took a pretty big hit last weekend, but hey at least it got done right?
Until next time, much love!
~T

Awkward Much?

2008-10-20T15:59:00.001-07:00

I've come to realize that I'm pretty much the most awkward freakin' dork to ever roam the planet! I was catching up with my cousin, telling her about all the TGTBT crap and just giving an update on the past couple weeks. She couldn't stop laughing at my many embarrassments so I figured I might as well share them with you as well...lucky you! Oh and do bear in mind that this was all just in ONE measly little week!
First embarrassment...S seeing my bare bum.
Second embarrassment...Ugh for rejection.
Now for my third and fourth uber awkward moments, you'll need a bit of back story. Let's talk about "The Jock"...
JGG and I have a mutual friend, The Jock. The Jock and JGG have been acquaintances for years, but have only been good friends for the past year or two. The Jock and I have known each other for about 2 years, but didn't start building a friendship until about 6 months ago. The Jock is now renting JGG's basement, which of course means they're closer than ever. The Jock is completely amazing in every way. He's smart, funny, charming, and handsome. He plays the guitar and sings. He's well read. He even golfs. He's pretty much everything I dig in the opposite sex. Logically, we would make the perfect couple. Unfortunately, the Jock is middle-aged and has issues with the thought of dating younger women...among many other issues I might add. So we've always just been friends with ridiculously intense attraction that we pretend to bury and ignore.
Anyway...the Jock was at JGG's bbq and had the pleasure of meeting TGTBT who was referred to as "T's boyfriend" or "T's toy", etc all night. I didn't have the chance to make it known to the Jock that TGTBT is not, in fact, either of those things that night and hadn't really spoken to him since then until last week.
Tuesday evening I get a phone call from the Jock. I was on the other line with my cousin so I ignored it and let it go to voicemail. He simply said he was calling to see how I was doing and to give him a call back. About an hour later he logged on to google talk, so I instant messaged him and told him things were nuts at work and I was planning on calling him when I got off. He proceeded to tell me that he was speaking that night at a lodge here in town and would love it if I could make it. My dad came over to watch the kids when I got off work and I headed over to see him do his thang.
So...3rd embarrassment (well, not really embarrassment, but awkwardness)
I got to the lodge about 10 minutes early and make a bee line for the Jock. Give him a large hug and start gabbing away. I decide to bring up a message JGG left for me the week before to inform him that I was, in fact, still single. Here's the gist of what I said...
"Yeah, I don't know if JGG's coming or not. I haven't talked to him since I got back into town. He left me a message on Thursday that just said 'Hey, we're having another bbq tonight and you better be there. No offense to your boyfriend, but leave him at home so we can talk and sh*t.'"
I was planning on using this as a way to ease into saying something to the effect of "Ha ha..maybe if I HAD a boyfriend" or something along those lines. Unfortunately one of the other guys there chose that EXACT moment to interrupt us and tell the Jock it was time to get started. So... now he is under the impression that TGTBT is my boyfriend.
He was wonderful of course...charming and witty as always. JGG did end up coming, so we sat on a couch in the back together with a few other friends. After the Jock was done and everything wound down, I walked out to the parking lot with him to take off and get home to the kids. I told him that he had done a wonderful job and that it was good to see him again. He bent down to give me a hug goodbye and I leaned up to kiss him on the cheek (very standard for me). Unfortunately he chose that exact moment to turn his head in response to hearing his name called. My friendly peck on the cheek, landed squarely on his NECK. How awkward is that?!? He looked completely taken aback. I was SO embarrassed I just said "see ya" and practically ran to my car. I couldn't get out of there quick enough.
So now, not only is he under the impression that TGTBT is my boyfriend, he is also under the impression that I am a whore. Lovely.
Until next time, much love!
~T

Training Wheels

2008-10-15T17:37:00.000-07:00

Forgot to mention the interesting conversation I had with TGTBT last week!
We were discussing his friend S's new relationship. Apparently he's been dating a new girl for about a month and she's been really good for him, but TGTBT doesn't seem to think there's much of a future there. I asked him why he felt that way and he proceeded to tell me that some relationships are like training wheels...simply preparing you for real relationships. This apparently was a "training wheels relationship". He told me about how great this girl has been for S, helping him to grow and become a better person. Why then is she simply training wheels...something to be removed after you learn to keep your balance without their assistance? While he was digging this proverbial hole for himself I really identified with Training Wheels, her story feeling all too familiar.
TGTBT could tell that I was taking his words in what he deemed to be the wrong way, so he tried to smooth it over by saying that OF COURSE he did not see ME that way. He stumbled over his explanation that he wasn't discussing HIM AT ALL, he was discussing S. That of course brought us to HIS current view on relationships etc. He, like the tactless fool that he is, explained that maybe in six months or so he would be ready to start dating people that he could get serious with; that right now he was simply spending time with people whose company he enjoyed. Ouch. So I'm not someone worthy of getting serious with? I'm just a toy to keep him occupied until he's ready to find a REAL relationship?
Why is it that some of us are bound to always be the teachers, helping men become who they are destined to be yet never reaping the rewards of our hard work? Seems like a pretty crummy deal if you ask me...I'm just sayin.
Until next time, much love!
~T

Humiliation Is My New Best Friend

2008-10-14T16:42:00.000-07:00

Ugh what is WRONG with me?!? I am NOT this girl! I am so much better than this! But can I help it? Can I stop myself? Apparently not!
Just got back on Sunday from a little mini vacation with my folks and it was such a nice little break. It was much needed after I humiliated myself on Wednesday night!
We were planning on leaving Thursday morning, so the kiddos and I decided to camp out at my parents' house Wednesday night. I put the munchkins to bed (or should I say I put them to couch? ha ha) and then headed over to TGTBT's to watch the presidential debate which he had tivo'd for me. We ate dinner and then watched the debate with his friend (and new roommate) S. After the debate S left the room to make a phone call and didn't return so we figured he had gone to bed. TGTBT and I started to get a little frisky when, whoops, in walks S! Apparently he had NOT gone to bed. Now, this wouldn't be all that embarrassing had it not been for the fact that I was wearing a skirt (sans underwear of course because who likes panty lines in a pencil skirt right?P) with my bare bum up in the air for all to see! Thank goodness he hadn't waited any longer before he came waltzing in or then it might have REALLY been embarrassing! *blush*
After recovering from that, we cuddled on the lovesac and watched a little TV until my eyes started drooping and I realized I better get my backside home to mommy and daddy's.
He walked me to my car and wrapped his arms around me to get in a few more precious seconds of snuggle time. I melted into his chest and he kissed my head. That's where it all went wrong. I made the epic mistake of SHARING MY FEELINGS with him! NO NO NO NO NO! WHYYYYYYYYY?!?!?! I knew no good could come of it, yet I did it anyway. Even as I spoke the words, I wanted to strangle myself! Alas...once words like that are said, there's no taking them back. What was his response you ask? "Yeah, um, I'm just not really even thinking that way right now...." Translation: Wow, you're a total freak. Please refrain from loving me.
Needless to say I turned tail and bailed as quick as I could! Haven't even really talked to him since then. He sent me a short text on Thursday night saying he hoped I had made it safely and then a text forward yesterday that sparked a whopping 10 minute convo but that is it. So is it done, or is this just the closing of another chapter in the TGTBT saga? Guess we'll all just have to stay tuned to find out!
Until next time, much love!
~T

Apparently I'm A Little Bit Nuts

2008-10-08T12:32:00.000-07:00

So...quick update on the DJ before I get into the juicy gossip of my weekend!
I haven't seen the DJ since we went out to dinner while TGTBT was in Minneapolis, however we talk nearly everyday. Until last week that is...
The DJ FINALLY moved out of his baby's mama's house after 5 freaking years, only to move in with his "bff" that has been in love with him from the day they met. Whatever floats his drama boat, right? Anyway...we're still good friends and talk, mainly through text, all the time. However, more often than not, his arrogant, condescending attitude pisses me off and I end up telling him to go fornicate elsewhere (in other words, to screw off!). This week he really pushed me to my limit though.
I belong to the LDS church. True, I may not always go to church and I may not always adhere to the principles of the gospel, but that IN NO WAY means I don't know it to be true. I have never, and will never, deny my beliefs for anyone. Last weekend was general conference (a time where we are able to listen to our church leaders speak for a total of 8 inspirational hours). I always gain such great insight and comfort listening to these wonderful men and women give us guidance from our Father in Heaven.
I was talking to the DJ on Friday and he randomly stated, "Its conference this weekend, you wanna go? lol" to which I replied, "Actually I have every intention of watching all 4 sessions". Boy did that open a can of worms! He tore into me about my "joke of a religion" and asked if we could "have some fun" before I go repent--whatever that means. He then proceeded to tell all of his friends about my "new found spirituality", which is humorous in and of itself when he knows I used to be a primary teacher, and make jokes back and forth on Myspace about how, and I quote, "Jesus is Magic!" Wow! Are you KIDDING me?!? I have NEVER attacked ANYONE about their religious beliefs and I could not BELIEVE that he was attacking ME for MINE! Needless to say...we haven't really spoken since.
So...on to my wonderful weekend fun which was spent, you guessed it, with TGTBT. So much for being done right? He was just so darn persistent though...even to the point of bringing me lunch while I waited all day for the Sears delivery guy on Friday. I'm a sucker, I admit it. After he got off work on Friday we met up at his house, he cooked dinner, and we caught up on my latest addiction (courtesy of him I might add) One Tree Hill. LDB had the kiddos so I spent the night at his place and woke up early the next morning for work. Worked until 6, missing the morning session of conference, and then headed to his place again to make dinner while he was at the priesthood session. He got home around 8:00 and we ate dinner while watching the tivo'd morning session which he had missed as well. He had an 11:30 soccer game which I went to, dragging my girlfriend Autumn along.
Sunday afternoon he came over to my place and we watched conference on one TV while K2 watched Strawberry Shortcake on the other. After the last session of conference I had to take K2 up to Lehi to meet LDB for a family party. After I dropped her off I went back to TGTBT's pad to watch the Bronco's game. That's when things got interesting....
On my way from Lehi to PG I get a phone call from none other than JGG! He's having a bbq at his place for a mutual friend's birthday and wants me to come. I told him I would try to stop by but that I wasn't sure if I would be able to because I already had plans with TGTBT whom he HATES. He hates him firstly on principle, but secondly because I made the mistake of confiding in him while TGTBT was in Minneapolis...he thinks I deserve better and doesn't understand why I put up with the things I do. Anyway...I told him I would love to come celebrate with said friend (especially since I hadn't seen him since playoffs!!) but would it be okay if TGTBT came along? Would he be able to be nice? Am I crazy?! Have I lost my damn mind?!? Apparently I have, because he said "sure" and WE WENT!!!!!
JGG kept to his word and was very cordial...it was actually a lot of fun. JGG and TGTBT got along well and were out at the grill together sharing steak tips. It's almost as if all 3 of us were trying to prove that we were far too cool and mature to feel awkward in the least. HA! Left the bbq, went back to TGTBT's to get my car and headed home. Got a text about 30 minutes later from JGG saying that my "new toy seemed pretty down". Now maybe they can be besties! Geeeez!
So how was YOUR weekend?
Until next time, much love!
~T

Broken Hearted Yet Again

2008-09-25T16:13:00.000-07:00

Update time...

Honestly, I haven't updated in awhile because really...dating sucks and I haven't had the heart to put it in writing.
So I believe we left off with TGTBT in Minneapolis. He said he was going to go on a "phone silence" for the rest of his time out there, but that only lasted about a day. We continued to talk on a daily basis. However, I apparently was the exception to the rule. When KKK found out we were speaking she had a right little tantrum and deleted us both from her precious friends list. Hallelujah! Now the evil succubus is out of the picture...things will be fine! Right? Wrong!
He got back from Minneapolis and life was wonderful. His ex-wife had agreed to let him bring the kids home for the week of Halloween so we were making plans for all of the fun things we were going to do with all 4 kids. We spent all day texting and all night cuddling. We went birthday shopping for his youngest boy who was turning 1 the following week. I was blissfully happy.
He was only home for 4 days before he left for Reno to spend his little guy's birthday with him. He had a great time in Reno with his boys. When he returned though, things with KKK changed. They were speaking again. They were "friends" again.
He left for his vacation to Pennsylvania on Tuesday. He told me he was leaving on Monday, but apparently that was total crap.
My kids were gone over the weekend so we pretty much spent every minute together Friday and Saturday. Went to his soccer game Saturday night and ran into a co-worker, which led to a lot of awkward questions on Monday ha ha. Sunday afternoon he had plans to go up the canyon with KKK. He told me he would only be a couple hours and that he would come to my place around 8:30 after the kids were in bed. He never showed up. He finally texted at midnight and simply said "I suck. Too much to get done before I go. I'm packing now." How he thinks he's so suave is beyond me. As if I'm not smart enough to figure it out! Reading between the lines in her "In Your Face T" wall posts, they spent the following night together as well when he was supposed to already be on his way to PA.
What a mess. What a joke. KKK is now doing everything in her power to rub it in my face and cause drama between TGTBT and I. She comments on every single status change, pictures, etc. which is something she never did before. She comments on other mutual friends' pages that she knows I'll see. It's actually quite pathetic, but it is what it is. And it worked. I have too much self respect to put up with this nonsense!
Needless to say, I'm done. I have no intentions of being petty, the way KKK tends to be, and delete him from my sacred list of Facebook friends. I'll even continue to speak to him through text and/or email. That's where it ends though. I refuse to continue with this sordid love triangle simply because he wants to keep his back-up around. If I'm not enough, then I'm not enough and that's ok. But I am done wasting my time and emotions.
Sooooo...once again, I have failed to find love. Maybe there's something wrong with me. Maybe there's something wrong with the men I choose. Maybe it's simply my destiny to grow old alone. Doesn't make my heart hurt any less.
Until next time, much love!
~T

Ummm...Thanks?

2008-08-27T17:42:00.000-07:00

Let's take a minute to backtrack.
During one of the many "off" times in my on-again off-again relationship with the DJ, I flirted and hung out with my cousin's roommate. Let's just call him Shortness, because well...he's short. Anyway, we had been friends since before my divorce and he's a super cool guy. He even oftentimes played devil's advocate for me and the DJ. Funny how more often than not he was in COMPLETE agreement with me on EVERYTHING, letting me know what a worthless dirt bag the DJ was and that I certainly should NOT put up with his nonsense. Sweet of him yes, but as we all know people generally have their own motives.
Anyway so Shortness and I hung out a bunch during about a 2 month period. It can't exactly be called dating considering the fact that we never went ANYWHERE other than the front freakin room! It was chill though, he was cool to kick it with. Unfortunately Shortness and my cousin ended up having a falling out and my cousin moved to a new apartment with her love muffin. Shortness and I texted a few times after that, but never saw each other again. Other than one or two myspace messages I haven't even heard from the sucka in a year and a half. Until Monday.
Monday I took K1 to the Dr. and then to lunch. At lunch I get a text from, drum roll please...Shortness! Dude...what in the WORLD?! I haven't talked to you in OVER A YEAR! Why the crap are you texting me NOW?! So we talk for about an hour and just catch up. Then after lunch I go to the car wash to have my car washed. Amazing how that works. Anyway, while at the car wash I get a new MMS...its a picture of Shortness without his shirt! And he sends it 3 times! And THEN, because I don't reply, he ASKS ME IF I GOT IT!!! DUUUUUUDE! Come on...really?! What is that crap?
Needless to say...I probably won't be taking him up on his "we should hang out sometime" offer anytime soon. Unless I get SUPER desperate...which, let's face it, I just might! :P
Until next time, much love!
~T

"I Appreciate Your Honesty"

2008-08-25T17:00:00.000-07:00

What a week, what a week....
Remember Mr. Too Good To Be True?? Wanna hear the latest?
TGTBT is in Minneapolis at the moment. He had to go out there for 3 1/2 weeks for work. I dropped him at the airport last Sunday and have missed him like mad from the moment I drove away. We had been in pretty much constant contact...until Friday that is. Ready for the story...can you HANDLE it???
You probably remember "the other chick" from my last post...let's call her KKK. Why you ask? I have no clue other than the fact that her name starts with a K and she's pretty much the devil :). So she and TGTBT are good friends, they were even dating for awhile...nothing serious despite her best efforts. TGTBT remained friends with her, but had agreed not to mess about with her anymore once he and I started seeing each other. Mind you we certainly were not exclusive and he had every right to still spend time with her, but as I said...we had an agreement of sorts.
Friday I hop online to check my Facebook...yes I truly am a huge nerd...and I get an IM from KKK that says "Hey can I ask you a question?" Well certainly you can...you just did sweetheart! Being the kind and lovely being that I am though, I answered simply "Of course". She asks if TGTBT and I are "involved" to which I reply that yes we are, we are not exclusive but we are most certainly "involved". She then proceeds to tell me that SHE and TGTBT are involved. That they, in fact, messed about just a few days before he left which was most definitely AFTER he and I had made our agreement! She gave me all sorts of fun and exciting details about their many romps together, most of which I really could have gone my entire life without knowing.
I tried to call TGTBT but to no avail. Finally that evening he returned my call and I confronted him on KKK's allegations. Sad days for me, he came clean and told me that while most of what she said was complete rubbish parts of it were fact rather than fiction. He was immensely apologetic and assured me that it would never happen again. I was immensely HURT and told him he quite obviously needed to take a time out and figure out what he wanted. Can you imagine what else I said to him? Maybe that he was a lying sack of crap? That I loathed him and never wanted to see his stupid handsome face again? That he was a complete creep and that I hoped he would die a slow and painful death brought on by the HIV he more than likely contracted from the evil succubus?!?!
Nope! My genius response..."I appreciate your honesty". Are you KIDDING me?!? That's the best I could do?!? He just told me that he slept with another girl and all I could say was "I appreciate your honesty"?!? I'm a real tiger aren't I? But really, what else COULD I say? Technically he didn't even do anything wrong. We weren't exclusive. However, we DID have an agreement, which he did not honor and THAT is NOT cool!
Anyway...Saturday night I went out to dinner with the DJ. I figured nothing cures a broken heart better than a date with another man who loves you madly right? Wrong! Dinner was great, we doubled with the Nug and her husband so it was actually a lot of fun. Then we went back to my place to watch a flick. The hubster had a pretty wicked migraine so they ended up bailing about halfway through the film. After that it was intensely awkward. It just felt wrong. Rather than helping me to feel better and regain what little pride I possibly could, I walked away feeling even worse about the whole situation and missing TGTBT even more.
I did talk to him yesterday and we're good now...we'll remain friends and play everything else by ear. But ladies do me a favor...the next time your man leaves the toilet seat up or tosses his filthy gym socks on the floor rather than walking the 2 feet to put them in the bloody hamper, give him a kiss and let him know how happy you are to have him in your life because trust me it could always be a lot worse!
Until next time, much love!
~T

Stupid Boys Anyway

2008-08-16T16:30:00.000-07:00

So....now that we're up to date on all THAT junk we can start talking about NOW NOW NOW!
Ever since JGG (Jolly Green Giant of course!) and I stopped seeing each other 2 months ago, I've just been doing the mommy thang and not worrying too much about the never-ending search for love. I just don't have the time or energy to devote to looking for my "soul mate". And lets be honest here...my life is pretty darn good just the way it is thank you very much! I've never understood the Noah's Ark concept of needing the other half to your "pair". Is life easier when you have someone to battle through it with? Of course! But am I going to feel as if my life is meaningless and hop along home to slice my wrists if I never do find love again? HELL NO! I have a stressful, chaotic, insane life and I LOVE IT! I even wonder if I could put up with someone coming in and messing with our routine...our lives. I suppose we'll just cross that bridge if and when we ever reach it.
Here's the shizzy part...K1 is OBSESSED with marrying me off again and getting me knocked up! He asks everyday why I don't have a boyfriend and when I ask him why he wants mommy to have a boyfriend he tells me it's because he wants a brother. Sheesh little man...kick back! Silly boy! It's hard to convince your children that it's not as simple as scampering over to the market and picking out a new model, but whatev.
So...we were getting along just fine when out of NOWHERE a blast from the past arrived via Facebook! So my blast from the past and I have been talking through Facebook and text for a few weeks now and finally spent the day together last Sunday. We went up to SLC to help first his friends, and then my cousin move. It was a LONG, HOT day but it was honestly nothing short of SPECTACULAR! We had SO much fun all day! We've spent every other night together this week and it pretty much rocks! He rocks! I rock! We rock together! It's pretty cool!
Ready for the new shizzy part?? He just got divorced 6 months ago and apparently isn't looking for anything serious. No biggie right? I can handle that...HA HA not so much! I can't BELIEVE how jealous I get when he hangs out with icky girl (his other "friend") who, truth be told, seems like a pretty nice chick. I'm allowed to hate her on principle though right? Lame lame lame...I'm a grown woman, I'm a mother of 2, I'm NOT supposed to be this spun over a man! What is WRONG with me?!? I adore him...I truly do. He's beyond amazing! AND he's a daddy (2 boys, ages 3 and 1) so he gets the whole parent thing. He didn't wig when, 2 nights in a row, one of my kids got up in the middle of the night and came out to say hello. Not to mention, the first night it was K2 who woke up with a bloody nose so bad (she'd been sick) that she was literally COVERED in blood and freaking out. He was super calm and just spoke soothingly to her while I cleaned the yuck up. First thing she did when she woke up the next morning was to come and ask me where my friend was ha ha! Awww, he's perfect!
Stupid boys anyway!
Until next time, much love!
~T

Peas Anyone?

2008-08-16T13:55:00.001-07:00

After YB I decided to take a break from the dating world, it really was as ugly out there as I had been warned. My break lasted around 6 months, until my personal Greek God broke up with his perfect-on-the-outside-train-wreck-on-the-inside girlfriend. My Adonis and I had been friends for about a year and a half, but never more than that because he was already taken. After he broke up with the GF, however, he needed a shoulder to cry on. Can you guess who was there and happy to oblige?
So Greek God and I began spending time together, generally late at night after the kids were already in bed. It was a casual, friendly relationship void of labels. We were good friends which made our encounters easy and stress-free. I was in Heaven. I couldn't believe that this 6'11" perfect specimen of a man could possibly want me, but want me he did. It all seemed too good to be true which, naturally, it turned out to be.
After receiving some wretched news and the loss of his $400,000 a year job (which was ultimate ego deflation for him) all in a matter of days he took a dive off the board and went off the deep end. He apparently decided it would be a laugh to get loaded on cocaine and heroine all day and then try to shoot himself with a shotgun. He never even called me, but fortunately he did call someone else who was able to contact the authorities and, ultimately, save his life. After that GG & I were never the same. Though I felt terrible for the things he was going through and was still there for him as a friend, I realized that I didn't have the emotional capacity to deal with it all. Not to mention, as harsh as it may sound, couldn't risk having someone that unstable around my precious cargo, my children.
GG and I are still friends...in fact, we're better friends now than we ever were before. He still gets a wild hair up his rear once in a while and sends me a text asking for nookie, but other than that I adore the guy. One good thing that came from his complete mental breakdown...I no longer see him as a Greek God, I see him more as.....the Jolly Green Giant. Love that sucka!

Until next time, much love!
~T

Robbing The Cradle Betches!

2008-08-16T13:19:00.001-07:00

Dating a younger man...it's a right of passage. We all make this mistake at least once right? Enter Young Buck...
After all of the drama with the DJ, I'll admit my fragile ego was just a bit bruised. I was feeling less than my sexy self and really just not diggin my dating life. Then the YB came along. I had actually known him for years, have been friends with his sisters since junior high school but hadn't actually seen him since those awkward pre-pubescent times every young man goes through. During those missing years he had GROWN UP! He was now a man...a tall, handsome intense man who just radiated sex appeal. Due to the fact that I was good friends with his sister I held back and just chilled with him as friends...for awhile. He was persistent, attentive and already had a great relationship with my kids as "Uncle YB". And I was lonely. Game ON!
YB and I spent quite a bit of time together over the next few months. My kids loved him, and still do for that matter. It was complicated keeping it from his sisters (one who was particularly fierce about who her brother dated) but we managed. It was actually quite nice dating someone I didn't have to hide from my kids. It was just a matter of watching our Ps & Qs while they were in the room, which truth be told was not an easy task.
The 4 year age gap, while weird, really didn't even seem to phase us. We enjoyed each others company and always had a good time when we were together. Until the day my friend Autumn got a text message...
I was at work one day when I got a text message forward from Autumn, subject line "Isn't this YOUR YB?" I opened the text and it was a picture of YB. I replied simply "Yes, wtf?" She proceeded to explain to me that her friend had a friend named YB that was looking to be hooked up...my YB, looking to be hooked up with another girl. Obviously Autumn told him to go straight to Hell but not until after I had a good cry over it.
So long YB...
Until next time, much love!
~T

Play That Funky Music White Boy

2008-08-16T09:29:00.000-07:00

Oooooh...the DJ!!
Many many moons ago there was a young 18 year old girl who fell in love with a somewhat goofy but disgustingly sweet blond boy. They dated for about a year before our super hot chickee decided he was just a little too sensitive and boring and decided to break loose and PARTAAAY. The crazy gorgeous girl remained friends with her sweet yet nerdy boy until she married a rockstar 2 years later, at which point the nice guy was left behind.
Many years passed and our story continues...

After my divorce I started hanging out with the DJ again. We dated on and off for about a year and it was nothing but drama! You see...the DJ was still LIVING with his BABY MAMA the whole time! They were "just roommates" and he would move out every time I put my foot down, until we would break up YET AGAIN after which he would go running back to her. Does that sound like just roommates to you?! Sheesh!
So...for a little over a year, I put up with this nonsense. I dealt with his crazy jealous BM calling at all hours of the night and giving him A CURFEW (I kid you not)!! I was constantly blown off for her...plans canceled because BM needed something or because they had a family function to go to. ROOMMATES?!? Are you serious?!
So why did I put up with it for so long you may ask? Because divorce does funny things to you. It makes you insecure, vulnerable. You lose sight of what is and is not acceptable behavior. You think that if you just love him enough, he'll come around. And with the DJ I thought that because I was the one who broke his heart and "ruined him", I could put the pieces back together again and "fix him". I had finally reached an age and a point in my life where I was ready for the wonderful, kind, caring and generous man I had given up in my younger (translation: stupider) years. Unfortunately that man no longer existed.
The DJ and I still keep in touch. We get together every few months to play catch up. In fact he just sent me these texts last night....

1:54 am - T L i really have been missing you and have been dying to see you. I hope you are happy kiddo. Wish you had the same desire.
2:02 am - Regardless be happy. I wish we were closer. If it's not possible i will understand. Anyway i love you.

Sweet right? Too bad THAT ship has already sailed lover boy.
Until next time, much love!
~T

The Ex Factor

2008-08-16T09:04:00.000-07:00

Wanna hear a little about the ex? You know you do!!
The Little Drummer Boy (from this point on, referred to as LDB) and I were introduced through some mutual friends. I had a good friend at work who had recently gotten engaged and therefore wanted the rest of the universe to join in the game. We went to a movie on a double date with them...and the rest is history. After that first date we were pretty much inseparable. We were together every night from the moment I got off work. We dated for only 4 months before we got engaged, and were married a month later.
He hit me for the first time on our honeymoon. Talk about a wake up call! Unfortunately, I was too proud to accept defeat. I was determined to make it work. I absolutely refused to admit that I had failed in achieving the perfect marriage I always thought I would have. Instead, I plastered a large smile on my face, wore long sleeved shirts in August and went about my business.
When Kid 1 was 3 (Kid 2 being 6 months at this point) he witnessed daddy hitting mommy. That was when I knew I had to leave. It would be on MY head if Kid 1 grew up thinking it was ok to hit women or if Kid 2 grew up thinking it was ok for a man to hit her. I could NOT let that happen. I hired a lawyer the next day. Within 3 months the divorce was final.
LDB and I have since been able to repair a lot of the damage that was done during our marriage. We have formed an odd sort of friendship for the sake of the munchkins. Although he still completely infuriates me, especially when it comes to the measly child support payment he still-3 years later-has NEVER sent, but for the most part we're able to put our own issues aside and be civil. He's not a bad person, we simply were a bad match. We brought out the worst in each other and I just thank Heaven everyday I was finally able to admit that to myself and get out before any irreparable damage was done.
Until next time, much love!
~T

What's A Girl To Do But Start A Blog?

2008-08-16T08:31:00.001-07:00

As a single mom of 2 who has had to re-enter the dating world, I've come to realize just how messy dating with kids can be.
First, of course, there is mess in the very literal sense of the word. Finding a smear of jelly on your "hotness" jeans 5 minutes before go-time, forcing you to frantically search your closet for something, ANYTHING else that could possibly be passable. Realizing 20 minutes through dinner that you've had chocolate on your cheek from the sloppy kiss your 3 year old gave you before you walked out the door. The overwhelming and never-ending buckets of toys that always seem to find their way out to the living room and spilled all over the floor just before the sitter arrives, followed immediately by the new date. The cancellation of dates in order to spend the night at home with a vomiting child. You get the idea.
Then, there's the messier mess. Believe it or not, it is no simple task to keep your dating life and your mommy life separate. Almost like a strategic game of chess, you have to time drop-offs, pick-ups and sitter-arrivals as carefully as a nuclear launch whilst never forgetting to figure in those precious extra seconds for one more kiss or hug from the true loves of your life, your bebes.
I've also found, to my utter astonishment, that men actually want to meet the munchkins. Whether it's to try and sway them over to "Team ___" or to impress you with the magical touch they have with children, I do not know. What I do know is that it makes me completely insane! As a single mother it is part of my job description to protect me children from any and all pain I possibly can. I am not about to allow my children to get attached to someone before I'm sure about him myself. I am thoroughly amazed at how often men actually get offended by this teensy weensy dating rule or mine!
And then there's the constant battle for attention, and not just from the kids. I'm a busy person. I work full time, go to school full time and raise two kids on my own. Needless to say I don't have a whole heck of a lot of spare time which, to some "boyfriends (ew, I really HATE that word) translates to "I do not care about you. I do not care to see you. And I do not care to make you a priority." What do I say to that? Suck it up or move along cowboy!
So with all of this junk floating about in the mind of someone whose head already works overtime as it is, what's a girl to do but start a blog? This blog is strictly for entertainment purposes. There will be some fun stories and there will be some extremely expressive rants. Whether you enjoy reading it or not, I really couldn't care less because I'm sure I will enjoy writing it. And isn't that what it's all about...ME?!? ;)
Until next time, much love!
~T