Who gets married without so much as TELLING their kid, let alone having them at the wedding? The Mechanic, that's who.
Dead beat dads are such a bummer.
Until next time, much love!
~T
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
If You Have a Moment, Or A Spare Dollar.....
http://loveforlivi.blogspot.com/
This is the daughter of a dear family friend. Love, prayers, positive thoughts, and/or donations are all greatly appreciated.
Until next time, much love!
~T
This is the daughter of a dear family friend. Love, prayers, positive thoughts, and/or donations are all greatly appreciated.
Until next time, much love!
~T
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Hmmmmmm
So my very first boyfriend, my high school sweetheart, contacted me on facebook a few weeks ago. He sent a simple "it's been forever, what is your life like now" email. We exchanged a few messages on facebook, and have now moved on to personal emails. I've given him a full life update, as well as the current pictures of my family, kids, etc. that he requested. He responded with an update of his own and current pictures of his family, kids, etc.
We've now moved on from the updates, and onto "us". He's currently stationed in Afghanistan, with limited access to his old photos etc. but I sent him copies of the pictures I still have, and he plans on scanning in copies of what he has when he gets home. We both got a pretty good chuckle over our old pictures...man were we YOUNG!
Well, about a week ago, he sent me a rather personal email. He told me all about the downward spiral of depression he went into after we broke up. Told me the things he always had, and always will, miss about me. Asked me what it was that led to our break-up, and what did I do after we split. I responded with a very personal email of my own, and after sending it realized...this could be completely inappropriate.
For me, this has been all about finally getting the closure we were too young to give each other 13 years ago. It was catching up with my old best friend, and re-living memories from another lifetime. For him I think it's been simply a nice distraction from the war he is in the middle of. I didn't think twice about answering his questions, and discussing our past together. But I'm not married...he is. I have to wonder how I would feel if I were married and my husband was having conversations like that with his ex fiance.
We've never crossed any true lines, and we've never steered the conversation into "us" in the present day or anything like that. But still... He lives in Georgia, is stationed in Afghanistan for the next 5 months or so, and I will never see him again...so it seems pretty harmless. We don't flirt, it's not like that. What does concern me, however, is the emotional attachment we still seem to have. We were each others first love. We were together for 2 1/2 years at such a very young age. We lived together, we were engaged, we had a LIFE together. That kind of connection doesn't just go away.
He's contacted me 2 other times throughout the years...once through myspace about 3 years ago, and once through facebook about a year ago. It was always just a 2 or 3 paragraph "hello", and my response was always the same...and it stopped at that. This time is different. Maybe BECAUSE he is at war, and desperately needs something else to focus on, even if just for 5 minutes.
We've known each other since we were itty bitty, and I hope that we can find a way to wade through all of this and find our way back to the friendship we shared before we ever even dated. I care about him very much, and I always will. I would love to be able to keep in touch with him, and hopefully now that we've aired out all of our dirty laundry we'll be able to do that without crossing the line into anything more than old friends who wish each other well.
Until next time, much love!
~T
We've now moved on from the updates, and onto "us". He's currently stationed in Afghanistan, with limited access to his old photos etc. but I sent him copies of the pictures I still have, and he plans on scanning in copies of what he has when he gets home. We both got a pretty good chuckle over our old pictures...man were we YOUNG!
Well, about a week ago, he sent me a rather personal email. He told me all about the downward spiral of depression he went into after we broke up. Told me the things he always had, and always will, miss about me. Asked me what it was that led to our break-up, and what did I do after we split. I responded with a very personal email of my own, and after sending it realized...this could be completely inappropriate.
For me, this has been all about finally getting the closure we were too young to give each other 13 years ago. It was catching up with my old best friend, and re-living memories from another lifetime. For him I think it's been simply a nice distraction from the war he is in the middle of. I didn't think twice about answering his questions, and discussing our past together. But I'm not married...he is. I have to wonder how I would feel if I were married and my husband was having conversations like that with his ex fiance.
We've never crossed any true lines, and we've never steered the conversation into "us" in the present day or anything like that. But still... He lives in Georgia, is stationed in Afghanistan for the next 5 months or so, and I will never see him again...so it seems pretty harmless. We don't flirt, it's not like that. What does concern me, however, is the emotional attachment we still seem to have. We were each others first love. We were together for 2 1/2 years at such a very young age. We lived together, we were engaged, we had a LIFE together. That kind of connection doesn't just go away.
He's contacted me 2 other times throughout the years...once through myspace about 3 years ago, and once through facebook about a year ago. It was always just a 2 or 3 paragraph "hello", and my response was always the same...and it stopped at that. This time is different. Maybe BECAUSE he is at war, and desperately needs something else to focus on, even if just for 5 minutes.
We've known each other since we were itty bitty, and I hope that we can find a way to wade through all of this and find our way back to the friendship we shared before we ever even dated. I care about him very much, and I always will. I would love to be able to keep in touch with him, and hopefully now that we've aired out all of our dirty laundry we'll be able to do that without crossing the line into anything more than old friends who wish each other well.
Until next time, much love!
~T
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
How In the World Do Army Wives DO It?!
Lately most of my very limited spare time has been devoted to the soldier...ooooh, the soldier...
Met me a nice soldier, yep I sure did. He's a rather delicious looking one too. He served in Iraq with my friend's brother's girlfriend's cousin. Confusing enough? He's also still in the military. He's career. He's stationed in Kansas City, MO now, but he's shipping out to Afghanistan soon.
The whole situation is beyond impossible. Even if K1 didn't have a disability that made big changes (i.e. moving every few years) a form of torture for him, I also have baby daddies to think about. How would I feel if the roles were reversed, and my child was simply snatched up and moved away?
While the fantasy of it all is rather enjoyable, the reality pretty much sucks.
So...for now...I suppose I have a pen pal. :)
Until next time, much love!
~T
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
It's Been a Minute, Hasn't It?
Once again, I have gone two months between posts...I'm the worst blogger EVER!
Life has been absolutely crazy lately! Not only have I been dealing with testing, etc. for K1 (we finally got an official diagnosis, yay!), but my mom was diagnosed with kidney cancer and had to have surgery to remove one of her kidneys and an ovary. She was in the hospital for nearly a month due to complications, etc. I also had my wisdom teeth taken out in March which led to dry socket and then an EXTREME allergic reaction to some random Orajel tooth desensitizer that made the entire right side of my mouth blister...baaaaaaaaaad times. AND I was slammed with school work, courtesy of the semester from hell. Needless to say, I was a bit busy and pre-occupied in March and April. The Artist, of course, could not handle the fact that he wasn't receiving enough attention from me and started in with the passive-aggressive games once more.
He started by changing his relationship status back to single and deleting the profile picture of the two of us (thank goodness haha). When that wasn't enough to get my attention he decided to play hardball by re-adding his hooch of a "friend" (who will stop at nothing to get him into bed, even when he's in a relationship with someone else), and making public plans to "get together" when he gets home. When that wasn't enough he started "accidentally" sending me text messages that were meant for her. Still, I tried to ignore it all. Then, to add insult to injury, he friends "The Hoe Bag". Remember the girl TGTBT cheated on me with? The same one my very first boyfriend cheated on me with? Yeah...he friended her. He knows the story behind The Hoe Bag, and decided to friend her...simply to get to me. Lame much?!
Heaven knows I do NOT need that kind of crap. My life is chaotic enough as it is, without head games and bullsh*t. I didn't feel the need to be dramatic about any of it though. I simply deleted him from my facebook (who wants those kind of wall posts on their home page anyway, right?), and stopped responding to his texts. Being The Artist, he kept texting...asking "wtf did I do?" etc. I still did not respond. Unless he is completely brain-dead he knows exactly what he did, and I'm simply too far past the point of being done with it all.
I hadn't heard from him in a couple of weeks, and he hadn't even crossed my mind, when out of the blue I get a message on facebook that reads......
May 11 at 11:13pm Report
I dont want to argue but it would kill me to find out if you were sleeping with ***** ***** when you and i were together...I just can't believe you would possibly be like this...hope its not true and if it is then I guess its the reason why you no longer talk to me and thats cool...take care
WOW...really? REALLY?!?! Where in the WORLD did that come from?!?! Of course it's completely untrue, but WTF?! Did The Hoe Bag tell him that? And if so, WHY?! Of course he either deleted his account or blocked me before I could even respond. I considered, for about a millisecond, emailing him or texting him to let him know he was out of his FRICKEN mind, but I realized...it's simply not worth it. What do I care if he thinks I was screwing around behind his back? I know I wasn't, so really...what does it matter? Not to mention, I would just be playing into his hands by responding. That's exactly what he wants. That was the WHOLE POINT of that ridiculous message...to get a rise out of me, to get me to respond to him. No thanks Artist, I'll pass on your game.
Until next time, much love!
~T
Life has been absolutely crazy lately! Not only have I been dealing with testing, etc. for K1 (we finally got an official diagnosis, yay!), but my mom was diagnosed with kidney cancer and had to have surgery to remove one of her kidneys and an ovary. She was in the hospital for nearly a month due to complications, etc. I also had my wisdom teeth taken out in March which led to dry socket and then an EXTREME allergic reaction to some random Orajel tooth desensitizer that made the entire right side of my mouth blister...baaaaaaaaaad times. AND I was slammed with school work, courtesy of the semester from hell. Needless to say, I was a bit busy and pre-occupied in March and April. The Artist, of course, could not handle the fact that he wasn't receiving enough attention from me and started in with the passive-aggressive games once more.
He started by changing his relationship status back to single and deleting the profile picture of the two of us (thank goodness haha). When that wasn't enough to get my attention he decided to play hardball by re-adding his hooch of a "friend" (who will stop at nothing to get him into bed, even when he's in a relationship with someone else), and making public plans to "get together" when he gets home. When that wasn't enough he started "accidentally" sending me text messages that were meant for her. Still, I tried to ignore it all. Then, to add insult to injury, he friends "The Hoe Bag". Remember the girl TGTBT cheated on me with? The same one my very first boyfriend cheated on me with? Yeah...he friended her. He knows the story behind The Hoe Bag, and decided to friend her...simply to get to me. Lame much?!
Heaven knows I do NOT need that kind of crap. My life is chaotic enough as it is, without head games and bullsh*t. I didn't feel the need to be dramatic about any of it though. I simply deleted him from my facebook (who wants those kind of wall posts on their home page anyway, right?), and stopped responding to his texts. Being The Artist, he kept texting...asking "wtf did I do?" etc. I still did not respond. Unless he is completely brain-dead he knows exactly what he did, and I'm simply too far past the point of being done with it all.
I hadn't heard from him in a couple of weeks, and he hadn't even crossed my mind, when out of the blue I get a message on facebook that reads......
May 11 at 11:13pm Report
I dont want to argue but it would kill me to find out if you were sleeping with ***** ***** when you and i were together...I just can't believe you would possibly be like this...hope its not true and if it is then I guess its the reason why you no longer talk to me and thats cool...take care
WOW...really? REALLY?!?! Where in the WORLD did that come from?!?! Of course it's completely untrue, but WTF?! Did The Hoe Bag tell him that? And if so, WHY?! Of course he either deleted his account or blocked me before I could even respond. I considered, for about a millisecond, emailing him or texting him to let him know he was out of his FRICKEN mind, but I realized...it's simply not worth it. What do I care if he thinks I was screwing around behind his back? I know I wasn't, so really...what does it matter? Not to mention, I would just be playing into his hands by responding. That's exactly what he wants. That was the WHOLE POINT of that ridiculous message...to get a rise out of me, to get me to respond to him. No thanks Artist, I'll pass on your game.
Until next time, much love!
~T
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Am I An Ass?
So I've been communicating with The Artist still, though he is starting to creep me out a bit. Not only did he change his relationship status, but he has now also changed his profile picture to one of the two of us together on the 4th of July. Ummmmm not really sure what to think about that.
He's constantly telling me he loves me, misses me, blah blah blah. I simply ignore the statements. Last night, however, he asked me to "please be sure to tell the kiddos 'hi' for him". I was going to ignore it, like I do pretty much everything else he says, but then I decided I needed to respond. The conversation went as follows:
The Artist
March 8 at 2:28pm
Hey I just wanted to say
that even though we are so far apart I love u..I think about you all
the time and cannot WAIT to prove these things to you.Have a great
Monday.
T
March 8 at 4:29pm
Awww thank you! It's been pretty good so far, but I do have accounting class tonight ugh lol! How you doing?
The Artist
March 8 at 4:50pm
I am doing ok..Still waiting on contracts to be finalized..talk about
ugh!...I hope you have a great evening and please say hello to the
kiddos for me.
J
T
March 8 at 5:22pm
Yeah, ummm no offense, but I won't be doing that ha ha! It was a mistake to introduce you to them so early.
The Artist
March 8 at 5:26pm
wow....ok...So we had that wonderfull phone conversation and you told
me you miss me and still care about me...ever since then you have just been going
backwards..now you wont say anything, and so I ask you. why did you
tell me those things on the phone at all?..
T
March 8 at 5:29pm
Because I meant them! God forbid I should want to take things a little
slower this time around after everything that happened before! The kids
are too young to understand everything that happened and will
happen...all it was to them was an abandonment and I won't put them
through that again. They come first...always.
The Artist
March 8 at 6:12pm
ok.I understand.
UUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! He is getting SO annoying! I HATE HATE HATE neediness! Should I have just let it go though? Was I an ass to respond the way that I did?
Until next time, much love!
~T
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