Awkward Much?

I've come to realize that I'm pretty much the most awkward freakin' dork to ever roam the planet! I was catching up with my cousin, telling her about all the TGTBT crap and just giving an update on the past couple weeks. She couldn't stop laughing at my many embarrassments so I figured I might as well share them with you as well...lucky you! Oh and do bear in mind that this was all just in ONE measly little week!
First embarrassment...S seeing my bare bum.
Second embarrassment...Ugh for rejection.
Now for my third and fourth uber awkward moments, you'll need a bit of back story. Let's talk about "The Jock"...
JGG and I have a mutual friend, The Jock. The Jock and JGG have been acquaintances for years, but have only been good friends for the past year or two. The Jock and I have known each other for about 2 years, but didn't start building a friendship until about 6 months ago. The Jock is now renting JGG's basement, which of course means they're closer than ever. The Jock is completely amazing in every way. He's smart, funny, charming, and handsome. He plays the guitar and sings. He's well read. He even golfs. He's pretty much everything I dig in the opposite sex. Logically, we would make the perfect couple. Unfortunately, the Jock is middle-aged and has issues with the thought of dating younger women...among many other issues I might add. So we've always just been friends with ridiculously intense attraction that we pretend to bury and ignore.
Anyway...the Jock was at JGG's bbq and had the pleasure of meeting TGTBT who was referred to as "T's boyfriend" or "T's toy", etc all night. I didn't have the chance to make it known to the Jock that TGTBT is not, in fact, either of those things that night and hadn't really spoken to him since then until last week.
Tuesday evening I get a phone call from the Jock. I was on the other line with my cousin so I ignored it and let it go to voicemail. He simply said he was calling to see how I was doing and to give him a call back. About an hour later he logged on to google talk, so I instant messaged him and told him things were nuts at work and I was planning on calling him when I got off. He proceeded to tell me that he was speaking that night at a lodge here in town and would love it if I could make it. My dad came over to watch the kids when I got off work and I headed over to see him do his thang.
So...3rd embarrassment (well, not really embarrassment, but awkwardness)
I got to the lodge about 10 minutes early and make a bee line for the Jock. Give him a large hug and start gabbing away. I decide to bring up a message JGG left for me the week before to inform him that I was, in fact, still single. Here's the gist of what I said...
"Yeah, I don't know if JGG's coming or not. I haven't talked to him since I got back into town. He left me a message on Thursday that just said 'Hey, we're having another bbq tonight and you better be there. No offense to your boyfriend, but leave him at home so we can talk and sh*t.'"
I was planning on using this as a way to ease into saying something to the effect of "Ha ha..maybe if I HAD a boyfriend" or something along those lines. Unfortunately one of the other guys there chose that EXACT moment to interrupt us and tell the Jock it was time to get started. So... now he is under the impression that TGTBT is my boyfriend.
He was wonderful of course...charming and witty as always. JGG did end up coming, so we sat on a couch in the back together with a few other friends. After the Jock was done and everything wound down, I walked out to the parking lot with him to take off and get home to the kids. I told him that he had done a wonderful job and that it was good to see him again. He bent down to give me a hug goodbye and I leaned up to kiss him on the cheek (very standard for me). Unfortunately he chose that exact moment to turn his head in response to hearing his name called. My friendly peck on the cheek, landed squarely on his NECK. How awkward is that?!? He looked completely taken aback. I was SO embarrassed I just said "see ya" and practically ran to my car. I couldn't get out of there quick enough.
So now, not only is he under the impression that TGTBT is my boyfriend, he is also under the impression that I am a whore. Lovely.
Until next time, much love!
~T