Monday, October 20, 2008

Awkward Much?

I've come to realize that I'm pretty much the most awkward freakin' dork to ever roam the planet! I was catching up with my cousin, telling her about all the TGTBT crap and just giving an update on the past couple weeks. She couldn't stop laughing at my many embarrassments so I figured I might as well share them with you as well...lucky you! Oh and do bear in mind that this was all just in ONE measly little week!
First embarrassment...S seeing my bare bum.
Second embarrassment...Ugh for rejection.
Now for my third and fourth uber awkward moments, you'll need a bit of back story. Let's talk about "The Jock"...
JGG and I have a mutual friend, The Jock. The Jock and JGG have been acquaintances for years, but have only been good friends for the past year or two. The Jock and I have known each other for about 2 years, but didn't start building a friendship until about 6 months ago. The Jock is now renting JGG's basement, which of course means they're closer than ever. The Jock is completely amazing in every way. He's smart, funny, charming, and handsome. He plays the guitar and sings. He's well read. He even golfs. He's pretty much everything I dig in the opposite sex. Logically, we would make the perfect couple. Unfortunately, the Jock is middle-aged and has issues with the thought of dating younger women...among many other issues I might add. So we've always just been friends with ridiculously intense attraction that we pretend to bury and ignore.
Anyway...the Jock was at JGG's bbq and had the pleasure of meeting TGTBT who was referred to as "T's boyfriend" or "T's toy", etc all night. I didn't have the chance to make it known to the Jock that TGTBT is not, in fact, either of those things that night and hadn't really spoken to him since then until last week.
Tuesday evening I get a phone call from the Jock. I was on the other line with my cousin so I ignored it and let it go to voicemail. He simply said he was calling to see how I was doing and to give him a call back. About an hour later he logged on to google talk, so I instant messaged him and told him things were nuts at work and I was planning on calling him when I got off. He proceeded to tell me that he was speaking that night at a lodge here in town and would love it if I could make it. My dad came over to watch the kids when I got off work and I headed over to see him do his thang.
So...3rd embarrassment (well, not really embarrassment, but awkwardness)
I got to the lodge about 10 minutes early and make a bee line for the Jock. Give him a large hug and start gabbing away. I decide to bring up a message JGG left for me the week before to inform him that I was, in fact, still single. Here's the gist of what I said...
"Yeah, I don't know if JGG's coming or not. I haven't talked to him since I got back into town. He left me a message on Thursday that just said 'Hey, we're having another bbq tonight and you better be there. No offense to your boyfriend, but leave him at home so we can talk and sh*t.'"
I was planning on using this as a way to ease into saying something to the effect of "Ha ha..maybe if I HAD a boyfriend" or something along those lines. Unfortunately one of the other guys there chose that EXACT moment to interrupt us and tell the Jock it was time to get started. So... now he is under the impression that TGTBT is my boyfriend.
He was wonderful of course...charming and witty as always. JGG did end up coming, so we sat on a couch in the back together with a few other friends. After the Jock was done and everything wound down, I walked out to the parking lot with him to take off and get home to the kids. I told him that he had done a wonderful job and that it was good to see him again. He bent down to give me a hug goodbye and I leaned up to kiss him on the cheek (very standard for me). Unfortunately he chose that exact moment to turn his head in response to hearing his name called. My friendly peck on the cheek, landed squarely on his NECK. How awkward is that?!? He looked completely taken aback. I was SO embarrassed I just said "see ya" and practically ran to my car. I couldn't get out of there quick enough.
So now, not only is he under the impression that TGTBT is my boyfriend, he is also under the impression that I am a whore. Lovely.
Until next time, much love!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Training Wheels

Forgot to mention the interesting conversation I had with TGTBT last week!
We were discussing his friend S's new relationship. Apparently he's been dating a new girl for about a month and she's been really good for him, but TGTBT doesn't seem to think there's much of a future there. I asked him why he felt that way and he proceeded to tell me that some relationships are like training wheels...simply preparing you for real relationships. This apparently was a "training wheels relationship". He told me about how great this girl has been for S, helping him to grow and become a better person. Why then is she simply training wheels...something to be removed after you learn to keep your balance without their assistance? While he was digging this proverbial hole for himself I really identified with Training Wheels, her story feeling all too familiar.
TGTBT could tell that I was taking his words in what he deemed to be the wrong way, so he tried to smooth it over by saying that OF COURSE he did not see ME that way. He stumbled over his explanation that he wasn't discussing HIM AT ALL, he was discussing S. That of course brought us to HIS current view on relationships etc. He, like the tactless fool that he is, explained that maybe in six months or so he would be ready to start dating people that he could get serious with; that right now he was simply spending time with people whose company he enjoyed. Ouch. So I'm not someone worthy of getting serious with? I'm just a toy to keep him occupied until he's ready to find a REAL relationship?
Why is it that some of us are bound to always be the teachers, helping men become who they are destined to be yet never reaping the rewards of our hard work? Seems like a pretty crummy deal if you ask me...I'm just sayin.
Until next time, much love!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Humiliation Is My New Best Friend

Ugh what is WRONG with me?!? I am NOT this girl! I am so much better than this! But can I help it? Can I stop myself? Apparently not!
Just got back on Sunday from a little mini vacation with my folks and it was such a nice little break. It was much needed after I humiliated myself on Wednesday night!
We were planning on leaving Thursday morning, so the kiddos and I decided to camp out at my parents' house Wednesday night. I put the munchkins to bed (or should I say I put them to couch? ha ha) and then headed over to TGTBT's to watch the presidential debate which he had tivo'd for me. We ate dinner and then watched the debate with his friend (and new roommate) S. After the debate S left the room to make a phone call and didn't return so we figured he had gone to bed. TGTBT and I started to get a little frisky when, whoops, in walks S! Apparently he had NOT gone to bed. Now, this wouldn't be all that embarrassing had it not been for the fact that I was wearing a skirt (sans underwear of course because who likes panty lines in a pencil skirt right?P) with my bare bum up in the air for all to see! Thank goodness he hadn't waited any longer before he came waltzing in or then it might have REALLY been embarrassing! *blush*
After recovering from that, we cuddled on the lovesac and watched a little TV until my eyes started drooping and I realized I better get my backside home to mommy and daddy's.
He walked me to my car and wrapped his arms around me to get in a few more precious seconds of snuggle time. I melted into his chest and he kissed my head. That's where it all went wrong. I made the epic mistake of SHARING MY FEELINGS with him! NO NO NO NO NO! WHYYYYYYYYY?!?!?! I knew no good could come of it, yet I did it anyway. Even as I spoke the words, I wanted to strangle myself! Alas...once words like that are said, there's no taking them back. What was his response you ask? "Yeah, um, I'm just not really even thinking that way right now...." Translation: Wow, you're a total freak. Please refrain from loving me.
Needless to say I turned tail and bailed as quick as I could! Haven't even really talked to him since then. He sent me a short text on Thursday night saying he hoped I had made it safely and then a text forward yesterday that sparked a whopping 10 minute convo but that is it. So is it done, or is this just the closing of another chapter in the TGTBT saga? Guess we'll all just have to stay tuned to find out!
Until next time, much love!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Apparently I'm A Little Bit Nuts

So...quick update on the DJ before I get into the juicy gossip of my weekend!
I haven't seen the DJ since we went out to dinner while TGTBT was in Minneapolis, however we talk nearly everyday. Until last week that is...
The DJ FINALLY moved out of his baby's mama's house after 5 freaking years, only to move in with his "bff" that has been in love with him from the day they met. Whatever floats his drama boat, right? Anyway...we're still good friends and talk, mainly through text, all the time. However, more often than not, his arrogant, condescending attitude pisses me off and I end up telling him to go fornicate elsewhere (in other words, to screw off!). This week he really pushed me to my limit though.
I belong to the LDS church. True, I may not always go to church and I may not always adhere to the principles of the gospel, but that IN NO WAY means I don't know it to be true. I have never, and will never, deny my beliefs for anyone. Last weekend was general conference (a time where we are able to listen to our church leaders speak for a total of 8 inspirational hours). I always gain such great insight and comfort listening to these wonderful men and women give us guidance from our Father in Heaven.
I was talking to the DJ on Friday and he randomly stated, "Its conference this weekend, you wanna go? lol" to which I replied, "Actually I have every intention of watching all 4 sessions". Boy did that open a can of worms! He tore into me about my "joke of a religion" and asked if we could "have some fun" before I go repent--whatever that means. He then proceeded to tell all of his friends about my "new found spirituality", which is humorous in and of itself when he knows I used to be a primary teacher, and make jokes back and forth on Myspace about how, and I quote, "Jesus is Magic!" Wow! Are you KIDDING me?!? I have NEVER attacked ANYONE about their religious beliefs and I could not BELIEVE that he was attacking ME for MINE! Needless to say...we haven't really spoken since.
So...on to my wonderful weekend fun which was spent, you guessed it, with TGTBT. So much for being done right? He was just so darn persistent though...even to the point of bringing me lunch while I waited all day for the Sears delivery guy on Friday. I'm a sucker, I admit it. After he got off work on Friday we met up at his house, he cooked dinner, and we caught up on my latest addiction (courtesy of him I might add) One Tree Hill. LDB had the kiddos so I spent the night at his place and woke up early the next morning for work. Worked until 6, missing the morning session of conference, and then headed to his place again to make dinner while he was at the priesthood session. He got home around 8:00 and we ate dinner while watching the tivo'd morning session which he had missed as well. He had an 11:30 soccer game which I went to, dragging my girlfriend Autumn along.
Sunday afternoon he came over to my place and we watched conference on one TV while K2 watched Strawberry Shortcake on the other. After the last session of conference I had to take K2 up to Lehi to meet LDB for a family party. After I dropped her off I went back to TGTBT's pad to watch the Bronco's game. That's when things got interesting....
On my way from Lehi to PG I get a phone call from none other than JGG! He's having a bbq at his place for a mutual friend's birthday and wants me to come. I told him I would try to stop by but that I wasn't sure if I would be able to because I already had plans with TGTBT whom he HATES. He hates him firstly on principle, but secondly because I made the mistake of confiding in him while TGTBT was in Minneapolis...he thinks I deserve better and doesn't understand why I put up with the things I do. Anyway...I told him I would love to come celebrate with said friend (especially since I hadn't seen him since playoffs!!) but would it be okay if TGTBT came along? Would he be able to be nice? Am I crazy?! Have I lost my damn mind?!? Apparently I have, because he said "sure" and WE WENT!!!!!
JGG kept to his word and was very was actually a lot of fun. JGG and TGTBT got along well and were out at the grill together sharing steak tips. It's almost as if all 3 of us were trying to prove that we were far too cool and mature to feel awkward in the least. HA! Left the bbq, went back to TGTBT's to get my car and headed home. Got a text about 30 minutes later from JGG saying that my "new toy seemed pretty down". Now maybe they can be besties! Geeeez!
So how was YOUR weekend?
Until next time, much love!