I Pretty Much Suck

Good Heavens I'm a crappy blogger! The truth is...my dating life has been pretty much non-existent this semester, and I get the feeling it will remain that way for the next little bit as my classes seem to be getting harder and harder. Who would have guessed, right? ;)
I did go out on a blind date a couple weeks ago with my friend's husband's co-worker, but truly...the date was SO lame that it doesn't even warrant a blog post! He spent half the time droning on and on about his superior sales techniques and the other half being rude to the wait staff. Is it just me or is that one of the biggest turn-offs in the history of dating?? Oh and I DID spend the last 3 months lusting after my ridiculously hot law professor which kept me rather entertained for 2 1/2 hours each week. Somehow even contract law became fascinating when it was THE Professor doing the lecturing.
I have, however, decided to take a bit of a break from dating. That being said...I certainly wouldn't turn away from any exciting adventures with the opposite sex, but I simply don't have the time to spend looking for options. Sooo I guess my question is this...do I abandon the blog altogether, force you all to wait in anticipation for months between posts (as I so cruelly do now), or do I convert this blog into more of a rambling of random thoughts?? Oh the decisions...
Until next time, much love!
~T

The Long Awaited Update!!

So I know you've all been on the edge of your seats for WEEKS now, obsessively checking this blog, praying and hoping EVERYDAY, thinking that "today will be the day" that T will FINALLY grace us with an update. Weeeeeeell, today is your lucky day cyber friends, for today I will finish the story of "The Artist"!!
Things with the artist started out magically, but quickly (OH SO VERY QUICKLY) turned, quite literally, insane! From the very first night that he got back to Utah it was bi-polar central. I spoke to him on the phone while he was waiting to board his plane. Life was grand, he was excited to get home, and we had plans for him to come straight to my place for a late dinner. I waited...and I waited...and I waited. He never showed up. He never called. He never even texted.
The next day was filled with apologies and "I can't wait to see you"s. Yet, he blew me off again...claiming he had promised to help his dad with some yard work. Tell me cyber friends, does yard work really ever take 9+ hours? Apparently it does if you're the artist.
Finally the following evening he graced me with his presence. My cousin watched the kidlettes while I went down to see him for the first time in over ten years. The second we actually saw each other everything else just vanished. The world stopped spinning, and life was exactly how it should be. That feeling didn't last long.
Things were fine the next day. He came with us to my work party, and everyone thought he was wonderful.
Things were fine for awhile, except that he would blow me off at least once a week. Then one evening we had agreed to go to dinner with my best friend, Nug, and her hubster. On my way down to meet him at his house he texted and told me he wasn't feeling well. Ok, sure, if this was the first offense I would have just given him the benefit of the doubt, but unfortunately it was not. I certainly didn't rant or rave at him...I simply kept the dinner plans with Nug and her husband. We went to dinner, did a little shopping, and then just hung out at their place until around 1 a.m. I wasn't about to waste a kidless night after all.
Anyway...he absolutely FLIPPED when he found out that I didn't cancel my plans and sit around at home moping. Told me I was heartless, and that I obviously didn't give two sh*ts about him if I wasn't concerned that he was sick. Blah blah blah...he ended up deleting me and my whole family (who he's known for 30 years) from his facebook. Really artist? REALLY?!?!
A couple weeks go by and he's texting and calling, apologizing for his immature behavior etc. I decide to give him another chance. Again...things are going great. He spends July 4th with my family, including Nug and the hub. He adds us all back to his sacred list of friends. Things are absolutely lovely until about 2 weeks after the holiday...until Nug and I start talking about Bahamas plans.
See...Nug and her hub got married at city hall with just her mother and me to witness. They've had an absolutely insane roller coaster marriage, spending more time separated than together, and they've somehow made it through. They want to renew their vows on the beach in the Bahamas with her mother and myself there to witness once again. I, naturally, agreed to go with them. And I agreed to this before the artist ever even entered the picture. The artist, again, throws a little tantrum. I tell him that he's more than welcome to come with us, but that I absolutely will not under any circumstances cancel my plans if he's unable to make the trip. This, apparently, is not ok with him.
He lets the subject drop for the evening, and then refuses to answer my calls and/or texts for about a week...and then changes his relationship status on facebook to "single". Wow, right? THAT is how he's going to break things off? By simply changing his relationship status? Whatever...I really just don't have time for the games. So I ignore it. And I move on. He starts texting and emailing again a couple weeks later, but I was done by that point. I was done with the drama and the bullsh*t. Again...we're all removed from that sacred list of friends. And then the son of a gun AMBUSHES me at my parents house!!!
I go over to my parents house the second weekend in August and there sits the artist, hanging out with the folks. UGH! I basically just ignore him and go about my business, but when he gets up to leave he asks if he can speak with me privately. We step outside and he starts in with the apologies and nonsense again. I eventually agree that we can spend some time together, but that we were IN NO WAY "back together". I let him know that he was on probation, and that one more screw up, one more episode of blowing me off, and he was done. He comes over to help me hang up some artwork in the new place, and makes plans to come back up a few days later for my brother (supposedly his best friend)'s birthday dinner. He never shows up. He never calls. He never texts. He doesn't answer my calls. He doesn't respond to my texts. He emails me through facebook later that evening saying that it was nobody's fault, that he wasn't able to get a car, etc. etc. etc. And THEN he requests to be linked as "in a relationship" with me. Wow...ummmm deny.
He tries emailing and texting, but I just don't have it in me to even respond. I'm so far past it all. He eventually sends some nasty emails, getting pissed that I'm ignoring him. Again...I ignore them. He hasn't stopped...I got another email from him just yesterday. Again...no response.
Anyway...the whole crazy experience with the artist was good for one thing, and one thing only...it helped me to really grow as a person and quit blaming myself for everything. With TGTBT my world was rocked more than I ever could have admitted to anyone, including myself. I spent endless hours trying to figure out what was wrong with ME, why I was somehow unlovable. With the artist...I never once doubted myself. I never once asked myself what I did wrong, what was wrong with ME. I realized that his issues were just that...HIS issues, not mine. And THAT, my friends, was HUGE for me.
Until next time, much love!
~T

:(

My sweet, darling cousin R lost his newlywed wife on Sunday in a tragic accident. They had been married a mere 6 months and were so very much in love. She was a beautiful girl that brought him more joy than he had ever known. They had just purchased their first home together. She was to be 20 years old on October 4th.
This tragedy has devastated our entire family, but obviously it has crushed R. He blames himself, and he wants his wife back. The poor boy is a widower at the age of 24.
Why am I telling you this? I guess my question is this...is it worth it? Some of you may think I'm jaded...and truly, I am...I admit it. But to see the pain he is in...I just can't fathom it. The old question remains...is it better to have loved and lost, or never to have loved at all?
Of course it is worth it though...she was the light of his life, if only for a short time. She brought him happiness, she brought him a true, undying love. Does that love simply go away now that she has passed? No, he will carry it with him forever more. He will hurt for a long while, but eventually the pain will ease. He will most likely move on, get remarried some day, have a family...but he will never forget his sweet Molly and the beautiful year they shared.
I'm honestly not sure why I'm posting this, other than to put it out there. To remind everyone how fragile life is, and how quickly it can be taken away. Let your loved ones know how much they mean to you. Don't assume that they already know...they probably DO already know, but if tragedy were to strike in your family wouldn't you want to know that you had let that loved one know just how much you cared?
R.I.P Molly girl, you were truly loved!
I promise to give an update on The Artist soon...
Until next time, much love!
~T

Long Time No Post

And you're still getting nothing ha ha!
I know an update is looooooong overdue, but I honestly just haven't had the heart for this blog lately. I am still alive though so don't give up on me.
In the meantime, a little video that touched my heart when I saw it on another blog. LOOOOOOOOVE my crazy "cult" and the way my heart feels free when I remember where I came from and where I'm going. I don't have to go to church weekly to know that God loves me and has a plan for me. It's only when I forget that (which, honestly, I have lately) that life seems impossible.



Until next time, much love!
~T

Is This Even Reality??

Wanna hear a story? You know you do!
When I was a little girl I absolutely idolized my older brother and his friends. They were all 5 years older than me, and the epitome of cool. I grew up with an older sister (4 years my senior) who loathed me from the day I was born, but my brother and his friends were always kind to me. They treated me like I mattered, and at the age of 5 that makes a lasting impression.
Some of the greatest memories of my childhood are going with my brother and his friends to the Boy's Club. We would walk over there and spend the entire day drinking soda out of glass bottles, munching on moon pies, and playing pool and arcade games. They never acted as if I was a burden. They never treated me as a tag-a-long. Instead, they made an effort to invite me to go with them everyday and to include me in their adventures. I was on top of the world! How many other girls my age got to hang out with 4 super cool older boys everyday?
My brother's best friend was the love of my life. At the age of 5 I was already completely smitten with him. I wanted nothing more than to marry him on the black top and hold his hand. He was perfection. And he could moonwalk.
We moved away when I was 6, but moved back to the old neighborhood when I was 11. At 15 I thought my chance had come when he finally kissed me. I thought, for sure, this was it...he finally loved me back. Sadly, at that tender age I failed to realize that a grown man could never have a relationship with a minor and live to tell the tale. I was left brokenhearted, and didn't see my moonwalking prince again for 3 years when I saw him walking down State Street and pulled over to give him a lift. Again, I thought...maybe NOW is our time. Alas, I dropped him off and never saw or spoke to him again.
Until the wonders of facebook.com brought him back to me. Oh Heavens, I'm getting BEYOND cheesy with this one!!!
Anyway...I wake up on Tuesday, May 9 to a friend request blinking at me from my blackberry. Friend request from who you ask??? From JRH (who from this point on will be known as "The Artist" because, well, that's what he is) of course! WOW! Talk about a blast from the past! I hadn't thought of him in years. It had been nearly 10 years since the last time I saw him. I immediately accepted his request and posted a friendly "wow it's been forever, how have you been, blah blah blah" on his wall. A few hours later I get a text from him and the rest is, as we say, history. Well, maybe... You'll just have to stay tuned to find out.
Until next time, much love!
~T

Google Stalker

Oh my, it's only been a month since my last post...go me! :)
Sooo...how old am I? My 10 year high school reunion is this Friday, and I am not going. Why you ask? Well a)because I totally suck at planning, and by the time I realized that certain things could be shifted it was too late to buy my ticket. Sadness huh? And b)because of the...GOOGLE STALKER. Totally creeptastic story for you, my 4 lucky blog readers!

So I'm plucking along at work one day when I get a gtalk request from someone I don't know. Well, I figured if they had my personal email address they must be someone I know so I accepted the request and asked simply "Do I know you?" Oh goodness did I open up a can of worms!
He proceeded to tell me that we went to high school together and that he found my profile on MSN and thought he would re-connect. He said that my MSN profile listed my gmail address as an alternate email. Well, the problem with that is that I don't HAVE an MSN profile...I have a private profile attached to my hotmail account, but even that only my network can see. Oh AND it does not have my gmail address attached to it AT ALL. Soooo, after some cyberstalking of myself, I found that the only way he could have found my email address would be through either facebook or my high school class website.
Anyway...while I'm trying to figure out who he is he goes on to tell me that he always had a bit of a crush on me etc and was wondering if I would be interested in a "discreet encounter". Eeeew much? Thanks for the offer, but I think I'll pass. I let him know that I thought he was a vile human being and that he should try ashleymadison.com. Then I logged off.
I then ask my IT guys if there's a way they can track down his IP address etc. so that I can find out if it was one of my friends just busting my chops. They tell me that of course they can't track it from an IM, but that if I can get him to send me an actual email they can track it and at least find out what state he is in. I sent the creep an email in an attempt to get him to respond. Success! He responded immediately. Bad news?? His IP address is BLOCKED. Honestly, I don't think many people even know HOW to block their IP address so that's a little sketchy.
Anyway...after admitting defeat I use the beautiful "block" feature on gtalk. Since this episode in early May I have received chat requests from 4 different email addresses...always vague of course. It's now been 2 weeks since the last attempt, however, so maybe he's given up on his little perverted quest??? Here's hopin'!
Until next time, much love!
~T

Booooring Update

I am the most crap blogger in the history of crap bloggers! Due to insanity at work, finals, and lack of motivation it has been too long since I've updated you all and I have SO much to tell you! How excited are YOU?!?
Let's start with TGTBT. For a number of months now I've suspected that the girl he was starting to date behind my back was, in fact, the same girl that my very first boyfriend allegedly cheated on me with more than 10 years ago. Not even sure why, but I just had a feeling in my gut that there was more going on with them than met the eye. And...I was right...like always. ;) Apparently she was in love with him enough to destroy her marriage by stepping out on her husband with him. Like so many before her, she believed she had found love. Sadly, she was wrong. He has now moved on to yet another unsuspecting victim. Dramatic enough? Seriously though...I wish him all the best. We're still friends, and we talk on a regular basis. While I refuse to admit how terribly the whole TGTBT saga rocked my world, I'm over it now and truly hope that he has finally found someone he can settle down with and remain faithful to. Best of luck guys!
Now on to FB...not much to say about this one. We went to YB's birthday party together, but haven't seen each other since. Texted a few times after the party, but just never managed to hook up again...mainly due to my chaotic schedule. We slowly drifted apart, and after not speaking to him for weeks and weeks he texted me last weekend wanting to hang out. Sadly, by that point I was so far past the point of caring that I just really had no desire to even meet him for a friendly dinner.
The DJ met up with me for my cousin's birthday party a few weeks ago. While I would like to say that it was good to see him, his presence really just pissed me off...not even sure why. He has, surprise surprise, moved in with his baby's mama YET AGAIN. Ooooh the insanity...literally! He's been wanting to get together for dinner every weekend since them, and I have been putting off that moment for as long as I possibly can.
Sooo...there are your updates friends! I have SO much more to tell you, but I think the next few stories are worthy of their own posts! Be on the lookout!
Until next time, much love!
~T

Update Time

So YB and his nephew had a joint birthday party last week and FB and I decided to go together. I ended up just meeting him there due to the fact that I STILL didn't have bday gifts a mere HOUR before the party started!
Anyway...it was chill and he wants to go out again this weekend, but I'm not sure if that's such a good idea. I mean, it's one thing to hang out together with a bunch of mutual friends, but to go out on an actual date with him just feels like a suuuuuuper dumb idea!
Advice??
Oh and the BM wants to go out next weekend when he's in the valley...
Until next time, much love!
~T

Eh

Hung out with A, her hubby, and Wedding Boy all weekend. We had a good time chowing, watching Friends and flicks, and most of all playing rounds upon rounds of MarioKart and Guitar Hero.
He's cute, charming, intelligent, kind, and fun! I thoroughly enjoyed every minute with him. Sadly though, there really just wasn't any chemistry...at least on my end anyway. We'll definitely hang out again, but whether anything else will come of it is yet to be seen.
Until next time, much love!
~T

Just Call Me Chaz

My “date” (quotations standing simply for the fact that all the date consisted of was hanging out and watching an 80’s mobster flick ha ha) with FB went pretty well. Sadly though, YB’s sister waited until just after I left his mom’s place, where he was house sitting, to let me know that he’s quite the player. Kind of a bummer considering how adorably charming he is, but I’m not about to play that game again. We text sporadically still, but I’m thinking he will make a much better friend than a lover.
Soooo what’s a girl who just funeral crashed supposed to do? Wedding crash of course! Remember my darling friend A who got married on January 31st? The best man and I will apparently be doubling with them this weekend.
I will now be legally changing my name to Chaz.
Until next time, much love!
~T

Funeral Boy

Funeral Boy and I are going on our second "date" tonight...wish me luck! Details to follow when I have more time!
Until next time, much love!
~T

What Do YOU Think?

Totally hypothetical here ;)....

Say a girl decides to venture into the exciting world of cradle robbing for a few months with an old family friend, only to have it not quite work out. Let's say that our girl, however, remains good friends with her *gasp* 4 YEARS YOUNGER boytoy and his sisters. Then let's say that their mother passes away after more than a year of suffering and our hypothetical girl goes to the funeral to support the family, including her old boytoy and his lovely new fiance.
So my question is this.......
How inappropriate would it be for that hypothetical girl to score a date at said funeral with her ex-flame (who happens to be the deceased's son)'s best friend?? Do-able or horrible??
Until next time, much love!
~T

The DJ Bugs

Now that I'm feeling a bit better, I thought I would catch you up on the whole "I Kinda Hate the DJ" thing

A few weekends ago I was kidless and bored so I decided to go spend the weekend with my cousin CaCA. I went up Saturday evening, spent the night and went to church with her the next morning, spent another night with her, and then went back to the valley on Monday for work.
Sunday night the DJ came by to watch a flick with us. I had come down with a pretty nasty cold the day before and was basically just hatin' it so I certainly wasn't up for leaving the COUCH, let alone the HOUSE. We put on Pineapple Express and I fell asleep within the first 10 minutes. I apologized profusely to him upon waking up, but could tell he was still irritated. He then starts in on how boring I am and how I never wanna go "out".
I was a little taken aback, considering the fact that I seem to never NOT be out! I'm always at school or work, and on the weekends I spend time out with my kids or with my darling friends. Apparently, however, unless I go "out" to the bar and drink myself into a stupor, I'm not going out. I'm not a drinker and I never really have been. It's just not my thing. And honestly...who the hell is HE to tell me that I'm somehow "less than" simply because I'm not a drunk?!
I was sicker than a damn dog and not in the mood for his crap so I told him to have a good night and opened the door wide for him.
Ugh...he just BUGS!
Until next time, much love!
~T

Honest Scrap Award

The rules:

1) Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.

2) Show the 7 winners names and links on your blog, and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with "Honest Scrap." Well, there's no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon.

3) List at least 10 honest things about yourself.


1. My dear friend Heather-- I love that after more than 10 years, we've been able to get back in touch and keep up with each other through the wonder of the world wide web!

2. A Daily Scoop--This is such an inspirational blog. I am so amazed by the strength of this beautiful family

3. Bowles Family Blog-- My friend Alida is so funny! I love to hear about the many adventures she and her 5 adorable kiddos have!

4. Seriously So Blessed--HILARIOUS!!

5. Real Life--My good friend Jen is a phenomenal writer and she's included some of her pieces on her awesome blog!

6. A Sweet Sale--She does all the work for me when it comes to grocery deals!

7. Hair Today--Super cute ideas for my little diva's hair!

1. I am currently questioning my entire career path and thinking about changing my major.

2. I am a shopaholic...and a half!

3. My children are my everything...they make my life truly enjoyable.

4. I am terrified of failure!

5. I always spread myself too thin.

6. Then I refuse to admit that I have spread myself too thin.

7. I seem to be incapable of asking for help.

8. I'm a hopeless romantic.

9. I lack confidence...but I fake it well at least! :)

10. I have been blessed with the most incredible friends and family a girl could ever ask for.

Until next time, much love!
~T

My Wannabe Post

I've been a total crap blogger lately, due to a pretty nasty cold. So to get you all by until my next brilliantly witty post, I have a steal of a deal for all you mamas out there!
Until next time, much love!
~T

Three Truths

I realized three things this weekend...

1. I should've gone to bloody Santa Barbara

2. I kinda hate The DJ

and

3. I'm still ridiculously hot for The Jock

More on these three facts when I'm not a "walking cesspool of viral plague".

Until next time, much love!
~T

Make Up Yo Mind Please!

The Jock is such a trip! One day he's going on and on about how I'm too young for him and asking if I have any older friends that I can set him up with. Blah blah blah...you freaking SUCK balls! But then the next day he's inviting me to accompany him to Santa Barbara (if I'm prepared to follow the rules anyway ha ha).
Seriously though...he drives me nuts! Dubbelyew Tee Eff sir?!?
Until next time, much love!
~T

Happy News!!!!!

For some other girl anyway ha ha!
YB is getting married! He proposed to his girlfriend on New Year's Eve. YAY for them! But really...is anyone NOT getting married?! Sheesh!
Until next time, much love!
~T

Can Men and Women Just Be Friends?

Well if you didn't figure it out from my last post...TGTBT and I are back at the game board once again. We've been seeing a bit of each other again lately and it's actually been pretty nice.
He came over last Monday to watch a little One Tree Hill since his TV is apparently not working. It was a bit awkward, we both stayed strictly to our corner of the couch, but we got through it and actually ended up enjoying ourselves. He left shortly after OTH, asking if he could come back next week to watch.
I talked to him a couple times throughout the next week because he was helping me to find a decent dishwasher for my mom for her birthday, and then installing it as well. Luckily, each time we saw each other was a little less awkward then the last.
He came over again last night for OTH and to change out my dryer plug for me. I made spaghetti and key lime cream cheese pie. We ate dinner and watched OTH. My cousin showed up about halfway through OTH and we all had fun ragging on each other. He left around 9:30 with plans to come back again next Monday saying "...if I don't see you before that anyway" So...apparently we are friends again, and to be honest I'm glad. I absolutely adore the guy and while it may twinge a bit to be near him, especially when he goes in for the goodnight kiss *sigh*, I value him as a friend and I'm glad to have him back in my life. Besides...if nothing else, at least I get my sinks unclogged for free!
Until next time, much love!
~T

Unsolicited Advice

Why oh why does JGG feel the need to give me "dating advice" all the bloody time?!
He asked me about 2 weeks ago how TGTBT was and I told him simply that I didn't know because we hadn't really been speaking lately. He asks how I'm taking it and if I'm sad to which I respond that of course I'm sad, but I'm dealing just fine. Noooo response...
A few days ago I get a facebook email that says...
"How is life Tara? I still need the full update on what Happened with TGTBT....Hopefully you are dealing well with it all."
Ummm well I TRIED to give you the update weeks ago, but apparently you were too damn busy to listen then! I'm absolutely NOT going to repeat myself, yet again, for you! So I respond with...
"Life is fine...dealing fine with it all. Hope you're well."
And JGG again...
"I am sorry it did not work out, I know you really liked him a lot. His loss...let him feel the pain and DO NOT CONTACT HIM AT ALL."
Ugh! That's all he's preached to me from day 1! Don't contact him! Let him feel the pain of losing you! Blah blah freakin' blah blah!
My response you ask?
"That's not really the way I work. I'm not a game player. We took some time to get our heads around everything and are doing the friends thing now. It's still a bit painful from time to time, but he's a good person and we both care a lot about each other so a friendship is better for us then losing each other completely. Hope you're well!"
And you guessed it ladies....noooo response ha ha!
But my question is...why on Earth does he CARE?!?
Until next time, much love!
~T

JGG Has Lost His Marbles

JGG has seemingly gone off the freakin' deep end! The other night I'm sitting at home watching some OTH after I put the kids to bed and I get a facebook notification on my blackberry. It was a new wall post from The Jock.
"Sit on me and spin...pony rides for free"
I immediately knew it wasn't actually from The Jock so I just deleted it. But it didn't stop there! Before my slow a** blackberry could even delete a wall post, I had a new one! They went as follows....
"Come over and lets play naked twister"
"Don't be shy...bring it on over here and lets play Mommy and Daddy games"
"Why are you being all shy...you know you want it. BAD"
"I will play naughty santa and you can be my elf"
"QUIT erasing my love post's"
"Ride my pony please"
"And then we can cuddle"
"and make pancakes"
"Then we can watch Oprah"
Mind you...I didn't even include the worst ones!!
After the first 1 or 2 I texted The Jock and told him he needed to change his facebook password. Luckily, he was able to change it from his iPhone and kick JGG off, but my question is.....WTF?!?!?!?! Who in the WORLD actually thinks that those posts are in ANY WAY appropriate or funny?? My parents, as well as many of my colleagues, are facebook friends and would be subjected to that crudeness if they happened to look at my profile at 10:00 p.m. SO inappropriate and in NO WAY funny if you ask me!
He did text and apologize the next day. I accept his apology, but I definitely see him in a different light now! And thank Heaven for the blackberry facebook application so that I was able to delete them immediately!
Until next time, much love!
~T

LDB Needs a New GF!

LDB and I have had a pretty rocky relationship since the divorce. Things were pretty nasty for a few months, but once the divorce papers were signed we were able to cultivate a nice friendship for the sake of the munchkins. Until he hooked up with Miss Crazy Pants anyway! Thankfully, they broke up a few months ago and things between LDB and I have gone back to normal. An unfortunate side-effect of the break-up, however, is that now LDB is lonely and, apparently, quite horny. The other night, after dropping K2 off, he asks me point blank...
"Wanna have some sex?"
AH HA HA HA HA HA NOOOOOOOOO THANK YOU!!!!
I simply said "Ewww no!"
Exit LDB.
Until next time, much love!
~T